Saturday, March 28, 2026

SENIOR RELATIONSHIPS

       My 81 year old brother found a girlfriend a while ago or maybe some older lady found a boyfriend. I'm not sure which. It's a happy time for both of them. They got permission or a thumbs up from their kids. So they're jumping through the proper hoops.

       One thing my brother said to me is, "Why do they make it so hard for old guys to get married?" The statement took me by surprise. 

     He went on to tell me what some of the difficult issues are. If you get married, benefits from your previous spouse are cancelled. So CPP(Canada pension plan,, OAS(Old Age Security) are cancelled from the deceased spouse's account. Many seniors depend on these benefits to some extent. The  benefits are also cancelled if you live common law and they find you.

     I suppose in some cases it would be a sizable loss depending on the previous spouses status.

     So  this was  something that was a big surprise to me.

17 comments:

  1. It's interesting that Canada pays pensions for deceased spouses. In Australia everyone is paid individually and income is cut in half when a partner dies, which is also quite tough.
    I wish your brother and his bride all the happiness in the world

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  2. Here the widows pension no longer exists. Cohabiting doesn't affect your state pension, but it does affect any state benefits.
    I get half of Pirate's fedex pension.
    He did check if I'd still receive it if I found someone else,(looking ahead for me near his end, love him!) and nothing in the small print..so that must depend upon the pension company?

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  3. It was easier when we were young and could just hang out with those we desired. In the '60s, my best friend's Grandmother hung out with the Preacher. I was not to be surprised if both were at Grandmother's apartment when we visited. Seems they would have both lost a lot of money if they married. Poopy.
    There's also some rule if a military vet dies, his wife gets some funds, but if she remarries before age 60, it stops. Pretty rotten, especially if kids are involved.
    These are rules made in the U.S. long before our current Supreme Idiot. Every day I think of Canada and wonder. Linda in Kansas

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  4. Interesting. A good reason not to get married, I guess.

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  5. This is a surprise to me too! Will doing this properly be worth it?

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  6. I wish your brother and his lady love much joy and pleasure, despite the officialdom.

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  7. It's a shame. I knew a lady who was in a similar predicament. A man wanted to marry her and she'd been widowed for some time. The problem is her late husband left her a US pension plus the various benefits in Canada and his work pension in BC. She wanted to get married but not give up her benefits. Sadly, she ended up not marrying and her guy ended up dying suddenly in a tragic accident. Maybe if they would have gotten married he would have been still here with her instead of where he was from. It's sad that when seniors are so vulnerable in many ways that they cannot even marry without possibly becoming impoverished. I hope your brother and his intended are able to sort things out enough to be comfortable.

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  8. I'm divorced and have never wanted to date again.
    Hope your brother and his lady friend work out the details and can be happy together.

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  9. Hello,
    Yes, that is sad for anyone to loose their benefits.
    I hope all goes well for your brother and his lady.
    Take care, Happy Sunday, Have a wonderful week ahead.

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  10. Good for your brother for finding love again! I hope he's able to work out a solution to the pension problem. Maybe they can live next door to each other? Ha!

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  11. How nice that they found each other. Second marriages and retirement funds equals problems. We know a couple who had their own ceremony and still keep their own homes but visit each other frequently:)

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    Replies
    1. I wish them both all the best Red. It's nice of their kids to give them the okay, as I know that can sometimes be a difficult issue.

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  12. Interesting that he gets the pension from his deceased wife. Here, the government looks at both accounts and gives you whichever works out to be the largest. Congratulations to your brother and his bride.

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  13. I wonder if such laws exist here as well dear Red
    I just feel happy that your brother has found new life partner and they are going to stay together rest of their lives 🥹
    It’s beautiful ♥️
    Congratulations to both of them 🙏♥️

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  14. I got his from AI:
    "Yes, it is possible to be married in a church without a legal marriage, but it is rare and typically only allowed for serious, exceptional reasons. While the church may recognize the couple as married sacramentally, they will have no legal rights, benefits, or protections, as the state does not recognize the union."

    So would it be OK to just be married in a church if that's important to the couple and not worry about the legal stuff? I don't know what legal issues there would be.

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