Friday, October 28, 2011

The Birthday Issue

         Recently I posted on my 72nd birthday. I got thinking more about the birthday issue after that post. I guess birthdays were on my mind since my son recently turned 42 and my daughter will soon turn 40. I stopped and said "Wow" I have two kids who are in their 40's. I had never thought of things in that way before.

      I was fortunate enough to be 68 when my Dad died. I know he found it difficult to consider me as elderly. I sent him a birthday card and told him that on my next birthday I would be 65. Apparently he thought about this for a bit and then said to my step Mom, "You know Red's and old man." My step Mom thought this was a hilaroius comment. For my Dad it was one of those moments when time needed an adjustment in his head. I had left his house at age 17 and had not spent much time with him after that so experiences we had together were limited.
        It has always seemed to me the first sight of my children is the one that sticks in my mind.  I remember them as preschoolers as they were always in the house and very dependent on me. In their school years they  were out of the house for the day but with me at home. So they were spending less and less time with me. They finished high school and left the home. They came back for visits. Less time was spent with them. So suddenly a large amount of time has passed and I'm sorry to say that they are middle aged. So maybe I should have been putting more emphasis on birthdays.

      When a child is 4 they concentrate on the present time. They don't spend much time considering their short lifetime experience. A four year old will find it very difficult to look toward the future. I'm wondering if this is why as adults, we remember almost none of our early life. We don't spend time remembering when we're young and don't establish much in our memory bank.

     As we age we think about our past much more. At my age there is a tremendous amount of past to think about. Some of it gets muddled. I find this out when I visit my brother and sometimes we have some different views of our past experience. Some of my childhood memories have faded as I'm not with my family to constantly remind me about them.

     The four year old probably cannot see himself as 16. Just as I could not see my children as being in their 40's. And I can't realistically see myself as being eighty although I am getting close to it.

     I think the most important part of the living process is that we stay positive about our life. It is important that we look forward in a positive way and in so doing we will enjoy getting there


  1. It is amazing to me how fast time goes by, when you look at your life and your kids. I'm glad we have the chance to look back and look ahead and figure out who we are to each other. Good post, Red.

  2. A book that made me think about time was Toffler's Future Shock.
    The couple of times I did not make new memories also gave me a shock.

  3. Wise advice, Red. It's all about the journey. Nicely written.

  4. Hello Red,

    First I want to thank you for all the comments you have left on my blogsite of late. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and respond.

    Secondly, I did not realize you blogged, as it did not come up obviously, when I checked out your identity. Of course since you mentioned being a struggling fellow blogger on my site yesterday, I went delving further, and sure enough found your material. Now I will have some back reading for a few days.

    But my question is, how do I join as a follower, so it automatically comes into my blogger dashboard? I see the title followers, but no way of joining. I will check back later, as I had this same issue with someone else, and it seemed to resolve itself in a few days.

  5. Thanks for your comments and finding me. I've had the same comment from the odd person and foud the same difficulties in othet blogs.
    Your last post is one I'm going to have to go ack and look at as there is much good stuff in it.

  6. Musical Gardener, if you go to your dashboard and scroll down a bit and look on the left side you will see "All Blog Updates." Scroll to the bottom of this until you find add blogs and then do what it says. Hope it works for you.

  7. Thanks for the compliment Hilary. Too often I see some very miserable people throwing their lives away. Then there are some people who face enormous obstacles and are still very positive and cheerful.
    I find your blog a very cheerful positive site.
    About the time I discovered that Frank had a blog and I wanted to follow him , I lost track of him. Where is he?

  8. Red, you can find him at for his everyday musings.

    He also posts photos at this blog.

    And he amuses himself with music postings at this one.

    Thanks for asking. :)

  9. LOL an old man maybe but you were still his dad sort of said the same to me and I was only 50 at the time.....something about a half century being a LONG time.

  10. Linda , as I said my step Mom thought his comment was a hoot and she let me know it.
    It's hard for parents to get their head around the idea that their children have become middle aged and more.

  11. Yes, well, I can't believe I just turned 40 either! Of course, in our society, I think people don't really become "adults" now 'til they're more like 30, and when Oprah said 50 was the new 40 (of course, on her 50th...) I guess that would make 40 the new 30, so I'm okay after all? And just barely past grown up then!
    Seems old and young at the same time. Middle aged? Really? I have a hard time thinking of myself as "middle aged", but I guess I am now. Ugh. Good thing I don't quite look it!! :)

  12. Michelle, if it makes you feel any better I can't believe that I've been retired for 14 years. Also I'm now in the old age category. 80's "comin" up!
    I like your idea of discounting by ten years.