I can completely get thrown off my game when someone around me loses it and melts down and in some way lays blame on me. I don't have much time for some one who gets bent out of shape for everyday events. I can accept somebody being greatly upset when the time calls for it. Accidents, frights, threats, extreme events. One I'll never forget is when we were called back from the lake because our basement had flooded. I remember my wife coming in the house and standing at the top of the stairs and being completely overwhelmed and devastated. She was inconsolable. For these things our normal instinct is to show some strong emotions.
What bothers me most is when people purposely lose control or are not in control of emotions as they should be. Exaggerated reactions are just not pleasant. Yes, I can listen all day to some one who has great stress. Yes, I will make an effort to assist someone who has been put in a stressful situation. How much of the melt down incident is to influence those in the area?
I would expect that the proper and right thing to do is exert self control so that those around can respond appropriately. This is where I come in. I do not function well at all when scenes are made. They throw me right off my game and I am not at my best. I am able to recognize an extreme situation. Very rarely do I have to be told. In that situation I can be of some assistance. Now some of this may be explained as when I encounter my own stress, I'm more apt to withdraw. I've been known to go to sleep. I have also heard of other people following this routine. I find that if I take some quiet time and think about the stressful situation I am ready to come up with a more suitable solution for the cause of the stress.
I found that as a teacher it was much easier for students to perform if they had a calm, quiet atmosphere to work in. I sometimes think of the horse or dog whisperer and how this could be used with children. I rarely yelled art kids. When I did yell, they would look at each other and say, "I guess we better smarten up because he never yells." When a child was upset it always worked much better if you could use a quiet approach. Getting angry or excited did not help the kid when they were upset. I remember one boy becoming extremely upset one day so much so that he was going to leave the classroom. This was fine by me as he could go out and calm down and he wouldn't lose face in front of his classmates. He accidentally tripped on the overhead projector cord and it bounced up to the ceiling and broke one of the light bulbs. Then things changed to the safety mode for the kids covered with glass.
So if possible I would prefer that we deal with stress so that it allows people around us to respond in their best form. Maybe we''ll all have a better day when all of us have a better chance to solve a situation.
What do you think? How do you deal with over the top situations? How do you deal with your own stress?