Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I Think the Birch Will Win.

       I made a rather rash post a little while ago. I described taking down my birch tree and that my wife had asked that the stump be left long. She wanted to do something with the stump which I thought was carving. Now I had the sneaking suspicion that I would be ordered to do the job. I know that my talent in this area is completely lacking.
The stump was a meter and a half or five feet.

      The first thing I was requested to do is trim the top of the stump in a vee shape. Now chain saws are not at all precise ...especially in my hands. That worked out not too badly and after 4 hours of sanding it looks pretty good.
Not bad for angle but a little rough.

      The next request was to peel the bark off at the top of the stump. Where I started taking off bark I had a surprise as the bark did not come off like it was supposed to. I found out that over half of the tree was dead at that level. Where the tree was living , the bark pealed off nicely.
Peeling the bark took some time.

    Now when I got the bark off and looked I found a surprise. There was a face that had been hiding under the bark for about 40 years. What luck! Maybe I won't have to carve it after all. 
Now I swear that I see a face. Too bad I took the guy's fore head off.

   I showed the face to my wife but she wasn't impressed. Now I found out that her idea was to paint the outline of a house on the stump. I had to sand  the side of the stump as some of the bark had stayed on. Then she prepared a stencil and put it on the tree and said, "Paint this." She gave me brown paint. After some very careful painting when I looked up and the thing was a total disaster. I called my wife to look at the output and she was disappointed too. 

    So I think the birch won on this go round. I might have to crawl on my hands and knees to my friend Bob or maybe talk to Far Side about this project!

25 comments:

  1. uh oh. the chain saw might get another workout or two before this saga is done. :)

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    1. Yes , the stump might get a lot shorter.

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  2. That's life. One wins some and loses some.

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    1. I'm very short on the artistic stuff.

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  3. You need an Inuit (or whoever it is as I'm trying to be PC here) to carve a totem pole. A short one.

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    1. Good idea. I'll bet you can see what's in this stump at a glance. Thanks.

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  4. After a lot of work such disappointment for you both... But the truth is that sometimes expectations don't prove that wonderful as we had imagined, your wife or you may come up with another idea! :)

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  5. Colin (CEO of H/K/L enterprises)Thursday, August 23, 2012

    Hmmmmmmm!
    Now let me give my thoughts on this "major" tree project. Oh by the way, there is no charge attached. Good aren't I?
    1. Obviously the tree was "rat shit".
    2. I note happily that our prospective marketing manager for the rabbit enterprise is being exposed - well done. I think a photo of this dear lady may appeal to our PRC ministers.
    3. I think that you might need more exercise, or just keep your shirt on. Our prospective buyers from the PRC may be shocked.
    4. I may have to deal with your "better half", Mrs Kline can obviously see better than thee.
    I note that you are unable to paint to specifications, your good lady wife is very observant.
    5. I now am in total dread of what "OUR RABBIT or HARE" hatches may look like. Please Mrs. Kline take a firm hand. Supervision appears paramount.
    6. To TexWisGirl and and Adrian, as potential share holders, we cannot allow such thoughts as try again or 'win some and lose some'.
    I look forward to far better efforts in this building and tree removal in the future.
    Most cordially
    Colin CEO of "H/K/L" enterprises.
    The Province/State of Alberta is depending on us.

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    1. Hey Colin, you write more in my comments than my blog.
      Anyway what I'm doing is crating up this wild life and sending it to the CEO in Australia and I'm sure he can look after it.
      so i look forward to a lot of progress on this issue now that you have the creatures in hand.

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  6. I think it looked pretty good with the bark peeled off and the little lines forming a design. Wonder what's going to happen next? :-)

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    1. I was surprised to see all the worm activity under the bark.
      What's next? I'm not sure.

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  7. Ooh, I was disappointed we did not get to see what you called a disaster. I loved the wriggles in the wood, naturally made by little bugs or worms. That would have been really neat to highlight with colour. So, next plan please or next story of birch project will be awaited in anticipation. Have a great day :)

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    1. Never thought of highlighting the worm marks.

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  8. maybe it just needs a hat and some big sunglasses!
    I wanted to see what you painted..it could not have been that bad.
    I have never carved anything huge like a tree..I have seen all kinds of lawn ornaments and old farm tractor seats on them...there is a guy down the road a piece that turns logs into bears..with a chain saw..:)

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    1. Yes I've seen all kinds of these ornaments and they are cool. This is my wife's project but I am the victim who has to actually do it. Don't shed too many tears!

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  9. Sorry your project didn't turn out as you wanted. But I'm sure you will both come up with something else : )

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    1. I hope we can come up with something that doesn't look like kindergarden stuff.

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  10. I like seeing what the tree reveals.. it looked pretty good to me. What's the next step?

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    1. I've already taken the next step with a carefully stenciled design and once it was on the tree it was terrible so back to the drawing board.

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  11. My dear partner in "H/K/L" enterprises.
    I regret to inform you that quarantine laws here do not permit the importation of Canadian rabbits or hares.
    As the "bunnies and leverets" which will a great source of income for us all, are Canadian bred, they will have to remain on your property.
    Just offer your neighbours shares and I am sure they will be only too pleased to assist you with the building, feeding and maintaining of this lucrative source of income.
    Yours most cordially
    Colin
    CEO of "H/K/L" enterprises.

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    1. Hey, I did some smooth talking and they're on their way. don't worry I've named them so all you have to do is set up a display. Australians will love them!

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  12. I have zero creativity in this dept so I have no suggestions at all..except to have fun!!

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  13. You are brave, very brave. I had Terry cut my tree clear to the ground and that is where I planted my sun dial garden!!!


    Linda
    http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
    http://deltacountyhistoricalsociety.wordpress.com

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  14. Oh, dear. I was looking forward to something!
    I've been having fun with my lawn art. Two new things.
    I want to transform my Frosty into a COurt Jester. Gotta figure it out first...
    Cheers from Cottage Country!

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