Monday, June 23, 2014

I'd Make a Great Comedian

     I'd make a great comedian! I wish somebody would hire me!

     On my recent visit to Vancouver, if someone had been following us it would have been pretty funny

     We had a few things we wanted to see and do when we were in Vancouver. My wife wanted to take the Sky Train and Sea Bus to Lonsdale Quay on the north side of Burrard inlet. The Sky Train is something we never see so it's a fun ride. The Sea Bus takes 12 minutes to cross Burrard inlet and drop you off at Lonsdale Quay. 

    So all this sounds so simple that it's sickening. Wrong! We found a lot of simple things to mess up. If somebody had been watching they may have recalled the Beverly Hillbillies.

    First, we were told that there was Sky Train parking at the station we were using. We asked directions. Some people gave us directions but there was no parking lot where they sent us. Some people got a blank stare and said they had never heard of Sky Train parking. So the Sky Train parking turned out to be fictitious and we parked in a mall parking lot.

   Then we get to the sky Train station. People are rushing both ways. We have to find a ticket. Yes there were many ticket dispensers but we have to figure out what ticket we need and how to get it. There were two different lines and senior fares. My wife is very hesitant to drop her money in a slot. She thinks that the machine will steal her money. Finally, someone helped us to choose the proper line we needed and buy the ticket. My wife would not try a touch screen and it saves a whole lot of trouble if I'm patient and let her come to terms with the situation.

    We're not out of the woods yet. Where do you stand to catch your train. There are signs all over the place but they don't mean anything to us. Finally, some kind person tells us what to do. They also tell us how to leave the Sky Train and get on the Sea bus. 

    Now Lonsdale Quay is a large conglomeration of fast food shops and millions(well not quite) of junky little shops that sell an endless number of things a person just doesn't need. My wife likes to look at the little shops with jewellery. 

   Finally, it's time to leave to go back to the hotel. Darn, you have to buy a ticket back. Well, we know how to do that . Right? So the micro manager drops her $1.75 in the slot. Does she get a ticket? No. The message comes up that she owes another 25 cents. No way is she going to give that blankety blank machine another 25 cents. The machine says times up and drops the money out. Okay, she's got her money so try again. The machine has to give you a ticket. Same thing. The machine says it wants another 25 cents. Help! Some kind person comes to our aid. They pick up a quarter from the coin return and put it in the slot and voila we get a ticket. One quarter was not being accepted by the machine and dropped into the coin return. We couldn't hear it drop so didn't know our quarter was in the coin return. 

  The whole experience was fun but probably a lot more fun for somebody else watching.

   Am I the only one who lives in a small city that doesn't have a lot of bells and whistles and hoops to jump through? Am I the only one to get confused about something that millions of other people use on a daily basis?

26 comments:

  1. I remember the first time I tried to ride the Sky Train and had to have someone help me, too. Fortunately Canadians are helpful people. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel better that I'm not the only one!

      Delete
  2. I flew to London England and waited at the "terminal" for a bus, that never came for I was to take a taxi to the airport and get my bus from there and trying to figure out how their phone system works over there. Again, very kind people helped me in both. he,he Loved your story and could imagine it - you wrote that story so well Red, that I could see it in my mind. ha,ha Have a wonderful day, you n micro-mgr :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Situations like these don't bother me but they upset my wife greatly.

      Delete
  3. oh, heck no! i'm certain lots of folks feel like country mouses in the big city when faced with new situations!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It doesn't bother me as I can see the humor in it.

      Delete
  4. You are not alone! I think all of us get confused when we visit another place.

    At least you have a sense of humour about it all. It certainly makes for great stories!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think what throws gas on the fire is that people are rushing by in both directions.

      Delete
  5. Millions of people these days use I-Phones and I've never even owned a cell phone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, I've never owned a cell phone either. I've been given one and had to use it for the day but that's all.

      Delete
  6. I think you ARE a comedian! We found Vancouver very confusing, and not especially happy to have tourists!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The signage is poor. Street signs are either non existent or very small so that you have to go up to them to read them. Have you got a bill yet for crossing a toll bridge?

      Delete
  7. Trust me - you're not the only one. Kiosks at an airport frighten me. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, they're fun. The idea is extremely simple but when you get there it's not exactly as they say.

      Delete
  8. Sounds just like the sort of thing that happens to me in cities. I avoid them, it saves me looking sillier than I am.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right. I've never scene urban photos on your blog.

      Delete
  9. I've lived in London, Tulsa, and spent many years outside of Washington D.C. and still feel like I'm picking hay out of my hair when I go to New York City.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, New York city? That's a challenge, but there are things I would like to see. I liked Washington D.C.

      Delete
  10. nice to have had help, the trip sounds fun

    ReplyDelete
  11. At least you asked strangers for help...You should have googled everything before you went...that might have helped. As long as you country bumpkins got to your destination and back again safely that is what counts:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People wee most helpful. I Googled this when we got home and didn't find much.

      Delete
  12. Growing up in a very rural area, getting used to metropolitan areas took some getting used to for me. But now that I work in a metro area, I've finally grown accustomed :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, sooner or later we have to visit the big cities.

      Delete
  13. Ya know, I've found that a large hammer fixes most things, especially electronic machines.
    I suggest buying your wife a nice hammer.

    ReplyDelete
  14. It is an experience to get around vancouver thats for sure. I was there about ten years ago and had to get someone to figure out my fare to get to the quay. As I had to travel through two distinct fare zones it cost more, rather than one fee for a time period as I was used to in Calgary.

    ReplyDelete