Saturday, August 13, 2016

Some People are Huge Influences in Your Life

      A fellow died this week who was a very major influence in my life. I only saw Roy 4 or 5 times in my life but one of his decisions changed my life forever. I always knew where Roy was but I did not have any contact with him. I taught his two boys and a few years ago bumped into his wife on the bike trails.

     In 1969 we applied for adoption. At that time the province handled all adoptions under the social development Dept. They had very strict protocol to follow in assessing if a couple would be suitable parents for adoption.

     Roy was our guy. He had to go through the procedure and make sure that all information was collected. In our application we had to include the usual information on date and place of birth and much more. We had to give our family background. My wife's family was anything but normal. We had to provide a number of references. We had just moved to a new town and didn't know anybody so references had to be from people who were far away. My wife was born in England but had become a Canadian citizen. We worried about these things. Rumors abounded about how tough it was to be accepted as a parent for adoption.

     Then came the big interview and home inspection. The interview was relaxed and informal but took about 2 hours and a few cups of coffee. They really looked through your house. You had to provide financial information.

     After all that he said it would be about 2 months before we would hear yes or no. We were on edge for the two months but we were accepted.

     So having children and parenting  has been one of the most rewarding  parts of my life. It  also changed my whole life. From that time on someone depended on me and I had to be a responsible provider.

    Now I know that more than just Roy was involved in the decision to accept us as parents who were suitable to adopt children, but I like to think that Roy had a large part in the decision.

   So with Roy's passing this week it was one more time for reflection on my life.

45 comments:

  1. Roy certainly did have a huge impact on at least 4 peoples' lives; you, your wife and two children. May his soul RIP.

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    1. I'm sure there were many more families that roy put together.

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  2. Yes, that is sad to hear he has died, a great influence on your life indeed.

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    1. At 84 , he had a long life but it's still sad to lose him.

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  3. A common bond he created for many good parents.

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    1. Yes, we've had great relationships with other people who have adopted children.

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  4. Sometimes we forget how many people have played important roles in our lives. We are all interconnected in so many ways!

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    1. Yes, I should sit down sometime and reflect on helpful influential people in my life.

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  5. If only Roy knew that he had a precious place in your heart. It would have been a lovely piece of news to carry into the great darkness.

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    1. I think Roy knew that what he did had tremendous influence.

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  6. If only ALL parents were subject to a review before raising children!
    Makes you wonder how many would make the cut.

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    1. Being a teacher, I've thought of what it would be like if all people had to get permission to be parents.

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  7. What a beautiful post. I, too, am a relinquished child, as they call it in Australia, and mom and dad talked about the experience in the 50's.

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    1. I try to keep my kids aware of what happened. My daughter has found her birth mother.

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  8. i bet he left incredible changes to many folks' life in his path. wonderful.

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    1. Yes, he did leave changes to people's lives.

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  9. How heartwarming. Changing one life for sure. I have two adopted grandchildren. One from Ethiopia and one from Rwanda...;)

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    1. I'm sure those two kids are fortunate with parents and grandparents.

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  10. A wonderful heart warming story. Thanks for sharing.

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  11. That was a big presence in your life, even in an indirect way. My elder siblings were all adopted.

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    1. Yes, he's somebody we always remember.

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  12. I'm an adoptive parent, too, and I remember the process well. Yes, life is never the same once you have children. I can't imagine what my life would have been like without my two daughters! That's a wonderful photo of you and yours.

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    1. There's much that goes on in the adoption process. Sometimes it hits us years later.

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  13. So sad to hear about you loss.
    but you had a great time together..lots of good memories:)))I think you are a great parent!

    Greetings Anita

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    1. It was an intense time so is very memorable.

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  14. Sorry to hear about Roy's passing but a very interesting reflection here on how he affected your life. Thanks, as always, for sharing.

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  15. So many people pass through our lives and then vanish, like planets pulled into our orbit before wandering away.

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    1. It would be a good idea to sit down and recall those people who have influenced us.

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  16. Roy played an important role in your life and probably did the same for other adoptive parents, as well. I hope he is resting peacefully.

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    1. There are many hoops you have to jump through in the adoption process.

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  17. Always sad when someone who has been an influence in our lives is gone. There could not be a finer reminder of someone than your children, his memory is assured.

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  18. This is such a lovely tribute! Every time you look at your children you will remember him.

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  19. Thank you for sharing this important person in your life with me, Red. I have a few of those people in my past, and even though they are not close to me in distance, they will always be with me and honored for their contribution to my happiness. :-)

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  20. Congratulations on everything. You saved lives...really.

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  21. During that 2 hours and a few cups of coffee, he must have thoroughly assessed you.

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  22. A lovely tribute to your friend Red. Thank you for sharing this story.

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  23. Apparently he did his job perfectly! I can only imagine how nervous you were throughout the process:)

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  24. Having wanting to consider adoption we were put off right away with the cost. We were not rich enough to do what they required. It was unusual to be able to know the go to guy for so long and he did make a big impact on your lives.

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  25. How wonderful that you had Roy touch your lives as he must have touched others.

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