Saturday, May 11, 2019

PUT SOME DETAILS IN YOUR WRITING.

    Kids are notorious for not having much detail in their writing. So instead of harping at them I would show them a piece of my writing and ask them what else they would like to know about it. They all had an opportunity to ask something and I could say "Well, that's a good idea " or "Why didn't I think of that?"

     So here's a piece I wrote and what the kids asked. I can't find where I rewrote this so the lesson ended here.

   When my brother Myrven and I were very young, possibly 4 or 5 , we went to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for a few days. in the summer.We were both terribly active little boys We were into everything. We ran through all parts of the house. We went through all the buildings in the farmyard.  We went over all the farm machinery and moved all parts that would move. We ran over Grandpa's wood pile and that was really a no no as Grandpa's woodpile was piled very neatly with not one stick of wood out of place.

    Here we are at about the age in the writing.

    Of course, we tended to get very dirty after a day of these activities and were always totally exhausted at night and went to sleep instantly.
      One day we saw Grandpa calling us and he had a rather large new tree branch in his hand. We were both totally terrified as our father would often find a switch from a tree branch to give us a spanking. We also couldn't believe that our extremely nice Grandpa would ever give us a spanking. We slowly walked over to Grandpa. Grandpa wasn't mad. He sat us down and stated to cut up the branches with his knife. Grandpa made two whistles from the tree branch and as you guessed it two little boys were absolutely thrilled with whistles created from a tree branch
     Now I wonder if Grandpa knew what was going through our minds as he called us?

     Grandma and Grandpa a couple of years after we visited them



   Now here are the questions
    Kyle_ liked the ending
    Brock - Where farm?
    Jer - Is Grandpa living?
    Jag_ Tell more on family
    Jas-   Details about making whistle
    Randie- Dirt- lecture
    Jeff- Grandpa's name
    Brett - describe farmyard
    Luke- Animals
    Curtis- How got to the farm?
    Billy - Explain excitement

   So since the kids go t to ask questions , my readers can ask questions. It will be interesting to see the differences.

36 comments:

  1. Ha! It's funny what kids come up with. "Dirt-lecture." I'm not sure where the question is in that. Like Jas, I'd love to know how your grandfather made that whistle. People used to be so resourceful with making things from raw materials, when stores weren't easily accessible.

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    1. I tried making whistles when my kids were little but I didn't succeed. Basically you take the bark off in one piece at an end. Shave off some would put the skin back on and you have your whistle.

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  2. Good lesson! I want to know more about you and your brother -- who was older, who was bigger, who was the leader, etc., and a specific anecdote regarding the farm yard or the wood pile.

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    1. WE are Irish twins. I'm 11 and a half months older. I was always the biggest until we hit puberty and then he's the largest. He is the leader all the way. Dry wood burns best so people tried to stack the wood so water would drain off it. An incident about the wood piles. We caused one wall to fall over so were we a little worried about that one.

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  3. what a wonderful place to spend your summers. I wondered if you went there every summer and I was also wondering if you still have the whistle,,I think your Grampa probably knew full well what you little fellas thought what was coming next from that branch, and i'm sure they weren't thinking a whistle lol,,, I enjoyed this so much.

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    1. We didn't spend summers with them but since were were less than 10 miles apart we visited often. I don't have the whistle. I did try making a whistle but I didn't succeed.

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  4. I want to know more about grandma and grandpa. Where they came from, how the got the farm and what their backgrounds were.

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    1. This is such a huge topic that I'll do a whole post on it.

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  5. ...I have never been much of a writer, but I try to capture the details that surround me with my camera.

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    1. I also used pictures as a writing stimulus for kids.

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  6. That's some good questions. I want to know, did you play with those whistles. What other things did Grandpa make?

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    1. We played with the whistles. They didn't last long and were probably broken by supper time. I don't remember that Grandpa made anything else.

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  7. Bet you were a good teacher. Was there a big barn filled with hay in the farmyard? I enjoyed this post.

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    1. I was only half as good as I thought I was !!! Yes , a big barn but I don't remember playing in the barn.

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  8. I like Jas question. Neat post. I haven't saved many papers from my teaching years. Good for you for saving them. Now, thanks for your comments on John's Island. I wondered how long it has been since you've been to Vancouver? That city amazes me ... it is growing so fast ... maybe even faster than Seattle. Those tower cranes were all over. Did you know there are no freeways in Vancover? The people have voted them down every time they came up as a possibility. Canadians are smart. Happy Mother's Day to the Micro Manager!

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  9. The last time I visited was in 2014. You should have been behind these two old people as were were trying to buy tickets and figure out which train to take. It must have been funny for somebody to watch.

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  10. That was a great way to show rather than tell what makes a good story. You sound like a natural at teaching. Not all teachers are!

    My question: Were they your father's or your mother's parents? I'm going to guess your mother's parents, based only on the sentence where you said your father used to use a switch on you but your grandfather didn't. I know that's not much to base a guess on!

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  11. Oh, when I saw the title I thought maybe your readers were about to get an online tutorial on how to put more detail in their blog writing!
    Then I read on...
    The questions were short and to the point with the exception of Kyle who made a statement instead of asking a question. Maybe Kyle was looking out the window and dreaming when the task was set. Jas, who asked about making the whistle seemed like a hands-on lad and my interpretation of Randie's question is 'Did you get a lecture when you got dirty?'
    Which leads to my question.
    What was Grandma doing through the day while you two were running riot outside?
    Great post Red. More! More!
    Alphie

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    1. Grandma had zero conveniences ...not even electricity. So you can guess that she was cooking along with cleaning all the time,,.

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  12. Hello, I think you must have been a fabulous teacher. I enjoyed the story and memories. I never knew my grandfather, I heard many stories about him. Carving a whistle, that sounds like fun. Enjoy your day, wishing you a happy new week!

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    1. I did go to many professional inservices so picked up a few ideas. I am not a creative person.

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  13. This is a wonderful way to teach kids how to add detail to a story. I love the story just as it is myself. But then again, I don't know how to teach writing to anybody! :-)

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    1. Today all lessons are supposed to include a section where students learn by doing.

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  14. Great story and a grand way to teach kids to look for more information. Do you still have that whistle?

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    1. We were very rough little boys so the whistles did not have a long life.

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  15. I would be out of my depth trying to make a whistle.

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    1. I tried making whistle a couple of times. I got the thing to whistle but it was a piece of junk.

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  16. I really miss some parts of teaching. Those were the days, my friend!

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    1. I enjoy looking back and doing a little contemplation.

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  17. You reminded me, my grandpa used to whittle whistles out of wood. Which i hadn’t thought of for years! His didn’t make a very good noise, but i was still impressed. Your students had some good ideas for adding details.

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    1. These were not the most melodious whistle either but fun for little kids.

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  18. I liked the story, questions and comments preceding my own. My question is did you visit your grandparents often?

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    1. Good question that I hadn't thought about. we lived less than ten miles from them. We saw them in the summer half a dozen times but not in the winter. When they retired in the village we saw them often.

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  19. Such a fun memory. And that photo of your grandparents is wonderful to have!

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    1. It's the last photo of them together. Not many photos were taken in those days.

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