I listen to CBC quite often and try to catch the morning show from 8:30 to 10. They have interesting topics and people to interview.
A couple of mornings ago the subject was guilt and in about one minute many things made sense in my life. We have to confront our guilt and solve issues that bother us.
Since I was teacher there is always one situation that amuses me. Every once in a while I meet a former student. The odd one goes on about apologizing for bad behavior. I look at them and I am puzzled. I did not consider that they were poorly behaved. They have felt guilty about their performance and had to make an apology. One guy working on a road crew on my street got out of his truck and marched up to me with an apology and concluded it with, "And I apologise for my friends too." I still get a chuckle out of that one.
A dozen or so posts ago I wrote about breaking the back window in a neighbor's car. I have felt guilt ever since. The man died shortly after and I had no one to apologise to. My friends who stood and watched me get no end of fun by teasing me about this incident.
In the rural area we lived in, houses were rarely locked. Our house was never locked. So when my brother and I were little we would sometimes wander through some of the unlocked houses. Yes, I feel guilty about doing such a thing.
I think most of us have done things that we regret. We feel guilty about it. Sometimes it just has to lie there.
Such amends your students needed to make! I love hearing about you and your young friends strolling through unlocked homes. As a home health nurse, I was alert to who was coming and going in the house. Several relatives lived in the one neighborhood. But one 3-4 year old boy not related to the rest would just quietly come right on in to check out what was happening. I think he was actually hoping for food or treats from my patient's grandma. She had to tell him to go on home sometimes. Linda in Kansas, where houses can be unlocked and blow away!
ReplyDeleteI am sure most kids and teenagers have done things they are sorry about. Take care, enjoy your day!
ReplyDeleteFor sure I have done some things I remain guilty over. I have blogged about some of them in the past as sort of an act of contrition since apologizing is no longer an option.
ReplyDeleteOr you can just forgive yourself, in lieu of forgiveness from someone else. I remember apologizing to you for breaking all those teacups. Kids don't have much forethought or experience to make good decisions, do they?
ReplyDeleteLuckily, it sounds like you haven't done anything too criminal or damaging to feel guilty about, Red! Regret and guilt can be two different things. Regret can mean NOT doing something you wish you had done or wishing you did something differently.
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself:)
ReplyDeleteWe all have our share of guilt.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish that life was like one of those old video recorders - so that you could wind the tape back and tape over your mistakes and the things you may have regretted ever after.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anvilcloud, we all have feelings of guilt. Your comment about going into unlocked homes makes me remember a little boy, the son of someone visiting a neighbor. I heard the fridge door go, and coming from another part of the house thinking it was my own son, I found a five-year-old who had helped himself to all the milk out of our fridge, sat himself down to eat all the cookies from a freshly opened packet, and with me standing there looking really puzzled wanting to know who this kid was, he looked at me, smiled and left. It's still a funny memory that makes me smile.
ReplyDeleteI think in the grand scheme of things, your sources of guilt -- at least the ones you mention here -- are pretty minor. In fact I'd say that people who left their houses unlocked were pretty much ASKING for little kids to come wandering through! Having said that, we all reflect on incidents from our lives that bother us and that we wish we'd handled better. It's just part of being human and having memories.
ReplyDeleteWe all have done things we are not proud of. Hopefully we learned from whatever it was we did, now it's time to move on and leave it in the past.
ReplyDeleteYes, I still carry some guilt with me about a guy who I hurt in high school. My mom told me a long time ago that she felt good about how she took care of her mother-in-law in her later years. I try to remember that as I care for my mom who now has dementia.
ReplyDeleteThe trick is to acknowledge the actions and move on. I have problems with that, and perseverate on them.
ReplyDeleteMention of your morning radio show reminded me old days of my growing as girl dear Red ,my parents were regular listeners of morning radio and after early two hours it was all mine to listen favourite songs and shows.
ReplyDeleteGuilt is complicated feeling I think and not most of us probably hardly know how to deal with it.
From childhood to adolescence our village houses were unlocked mostly and yards would not have walls and people would cross each other’s houses to get out. I feel lucky I witnessed such times