Monday, June 23, 2014

I'd Make a Great Comedian

     I'd make a great comedian! I wish somebody would hire me!

     On my recent visit to Vancouver, if someone had been following us it would have been pretty funny

     We had a few things we wanted to see and do when we were in Vancouver. My wife wanted to take the Sky Train and Sea Bus to Lonsdale Quay on the north side of Burrard inlet. The Sky Train is something we never see so it's a fun ride. The Sea Bus takes 12 minutes to cross Burrard inlet and drop you off at Lonsdale Quay. 

    So all this sounds so simple that it's sickening. Wrong! We found a lot of simple things to mess up. If somebody had been watching they may have recalled the Beverly Hillbillies.

    First, we were told that there was Sky Train parking at the station we were using. We asked directions. Some people gave us directions but there was no parking lot where they sent us. Some people got a blank stare and said they had never heard of Sky Train parking. So the Sky Train parking turned out to be fictitious and we parked in a mall parking lot.

   Then we get to the sky Train station. People are rushing both ways. We have to find a ticket. Yes there were many ticket dispensers but we have to figure out what ticket we need and how to get it. There were two different lines and senior fares. My wife is very hesitant to drop her money in a slot. She thinks that the machine will steal her money. Finally, someone helped us to choose the proper line we needed and buy the ticket. My wife would not try a touch screen and it saves a whole lot of trouble if I'm patient and let her come to terms with the situation.

    We're not out of the woods yet. Where do you stand to catch your train. There are signs all over the place but they don't mean anything to us. Finally, some kind person tells us what to do. They also tell us how to leave the Sky Train and get on the Sea bus. 

    Now Lonsdale Quay is a large conglomeration of fast food shops and millions(well not quite) of junky little shops that sell an endless number of things a person just doesn't need. My wife likes to look at the little shops with jewellery. 

   Finally, it's time to leave to go back to the hotel. Darn, you have to buy a ticket back. Well, we know how to do that . Right? So the micro manager drops her $1.75 in the slot. Does she get a ticket? No. The message comes up that she owes another 25 cents. No way is she going to give that blankety blank machine another 25 cents. The machine says times up and drops the money out. Okay, she's got her money so try again. The machine has to give you a ticket. Same thing. The machine says it wants another 25 cents. Help! Some kind person comes to our aid. They pick up a quarter from the coin return and put it in the slot and voila we get a ticket. One quarter was not being accepted by the machine and dropped into the coin return. We couldn't hear it drop so didn't know our quarter was in the coin return. 

  The whole experience was fun but probably a lot more fun for somebody else watching.

   Am I the only one who lives in a small city that doesn't have a lot of bells and whistles and hoops to jump through? Am I the only one to get confused about something that millions of other people use on a daily basis?