Sunday, March 16, 2014

I Should Have Asked Questions

     A few days ago I did a post on my great grandfather who could heal horses by looking at them. My great grandfather died ten years before I was born. The only way I knew of the story is that for a while four generations lived in one house. One of his great grand daughters recorded the story.

    I started to think that there are many things I do not know about my ancestors simply because I didn't ask.  I can think of things I would ask Mom or Dad now if they were living. Why didn't I ask when they were living? There are many things I should have asked my grand parents but did not.

   Part of the problem is that for most of us , by the time we think of things we are older and guess what? Our parents or grand parents have passed on.

   I was in my sixties when my Dad was still living. I asked him about some things. They were things that I knew about. He was very fuzzy on the answers and some of the things he could not recall at all. I was too late. I found  that he may not have answered the question I asked , but it would remind him of something else. One day out of the blue he told me how he and my mother began seeing one another. Dad was working in an area where he knew many young people. The young people got together at people's houses. Since none of them had cars, they walked home in a group. They were in the country and it was pitch dark. Somebody took his hand in the dark. It was our Mom. I was fascinated with the story and it would have been something I would never have dreamed about asking. Dad was shy when it came to the opposite sex. Guess What ? That gene was passed on to his four sons. The four daughter-in-laws sometimes have a good laugh about us when they get together!

    My grandparents came from Europe. It was a gigantic move. They were peasants and had never traveled very far. Many of the sea voyages were close to tragedy. I should have  asked and found out how brave they were. What was their trip like? What did they see that impressed them? They made the trip without English so it must have been terrifying.

   My Mom died at age 59. Females are better at relating family stories ( My opinion only). I'm sure I would have been told many things without asking. Maybe I would have got the other side of the romance.

    So I would urge all those younger than I am to make a list of questions and be prepared to ask parents and grand parents questions. For every answer you get there will be another question.

    I'm emailing my kids to give them a heads up about asking questions.

   Am I the only one who didn't ask questions and regrets it.