Saturday, April 6, 2019


      I usually attend 4 or 5 memorials a year. Most of them are for elderly people. The format is much the same. One sad part now is that many people request no formal service be held.

     This week I attended a very different celebration of life. The deceased had been murdered...shot by his wife. The victim was 36  years old.

    As with many of domestic homicides things get fairly complicated in a hurry.

    I knew the victim when he was younger. He lived across the street from me. His parents still live there. 

   The guy was an extremely aggressive business man who didn't take no for an answer. If you couldn't do what he wanted he would do it himself. He didn't have much time for rules. Rules weren't for him. 

    Now I was rather surprised that a memorial for him was being held in a church. He had issues with drugs so maybe he was influenced and helped by the church. 

    Now the victim's parents strongly support his wife who shot him. Apparently He had a list of people he was going to kill. One of the people he intended to kill was his Dad. So the couple had a dispute and the husband was killed. Apparently drugs were an issue and he had been on something for three days.

    The victim's parents told me that they strongly supported their daughter in law.

    The wife was let out of detention to attend the memorial. A letter was read from her to say how much she thought of her husband. 

    Eulogies painted a great picture of the victim. The last time I talked to him he admitted that there were many people who didn't like him. 

  So with tragic incidents there are usually many questions and few answers. There are many comments and suppositions. It's a jumble in many people's  minds.

    So many times when I attend a memorial I come home and have some satisfaction and closure of the loss. This service was meant to bring closure and I hope it did for many people. I'm sure some people are like me and have many questions that will take a long time to be answered.