Sunday, November 29, 2015

Ya Gotta Let the Dog Out

     A few months ago I was ordered to undergo one of those invasive procedures where they "just have a look inside." They phoned and gave me a 12:30 PM appointment. I tried to tell them that this wasn't an appropriate time. They had little time for me and abruptly told me the doctor was going away and this was my only chance for an appointment. What else could a poor boy do?

     Don't worry. I'm still on my topic.

     Some of you know the drill for this test. Ya gotta empty your whole digestive system of every microscopic particle. The way they do this is start you at 2:00PM the previous day with a marvelous drink. You have to drink two liters in a little more than an hour. After that, the contents of your digestive system make a hasty exit. You don't feel at all well at this time. For supper you can have liquids. You have to get up at 4:00 AM and drink another two liters of the vile stuff in an hour and a half. No more food after that.

     So after this punishment you feel absolutely miserable and you haven't eaten since lunch time the previous day.

     So like a good boy I arrive at the institution at 10:30 AM for preparation of the procedure. This goes tickety - boo and I'm in the bed with all the necessary piping in place. 

    I haven't forgotten about the dog!

    Around 12:15 PM I'm rolled into the "room" and placed on the viewing table and the remainder of the preparations are made. You remember I protested the 12:30 PM appointment. 

    I was ready at exactly 12:30 PM as there was a big clock on the wall I could watch. 

   At 12:30 PM they told me the doctor wasn't there at that time. The told me "The doctor had gone home to let the dog out!"

   They thought and I thought it would only be a few minutes. When did the doctor come back? At exactly 1:00 PM!

    Well we got the job done. So after a miserable procedure in the first place I was finally able to get home by about 2:30  PM for a bit of lunch. And I didn't have coffee for more than 24 hours!

    Well what do you do? By this time I was just happy to have the procedure over with and be out of there.

    It will be a long time before I forget about the doctor who had to let his dog out.