Yesterday I was talking to my son on Skype. I noticed he was wearing glasses so I asked him why. He told me they were for reading and then added,"I'm old like you!"
This reminded me of a couple of incidents with my Dad.
When I was close to 64 I sent my Dad a birthday card for his 91 st birthday. I had told him in the card that in two more birthdays I would be 65. Dad didn't have much site left due to Macular degeneration. He asked my step mom to read the card again. He thought for a bit and then said, "Red's an old man!" My step mom found this hilarious and so did I. There is something extremely incongruous when your father calls you an old man.
Two years before Dad passed away he made another comment that was significant. Dad was a farmer all his life. He looked at the world with farmer's eyes. All judgments were from his farm life. I became a teacher and of course you know that Dad's opinion was that I worked from 9:00 AM to 3:30 PM and the money wasn't bad. Furthermore, I had weekends off, two weeks off at Christmas and two months off in the summer. He thought this was pretty soft. He really wanted me to teach near the farm so that I could help him out on the farm with all my spare time. At age 94 he said to me,"Well, you did all right after all!" This comment amazed me. I thought my career was successful and that I was fortunate to have savings and a good pension. I realized that all these years he had looked at me with concern. In his mind if I didn't own 3000 acres of farmland and a few humongous tractors I was not well off.
Dad died in 2008. How fast the wheel turns. I am elderly and my son has reached middle age. Slowly the relationship changes.
It is so true. We remember our parents and now they are gone and we are next in line. The way of things, Red. Both of my parents have been gone since 1993. I still miss them.
ReplyDeleteParents have passed on . We miss them. However, we still have vivid memories of what they gave us.
ReplyDeleteParents have a way of being concerned and always wanting the best for their kids no matter how old they are. A lovely memory to share. Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteRed thank you for sharing this, you put a smile on my face tonight as I thought about some moments with my Mom. When I was a teenager and even into my 20s I detested anyone telling me that I looked like my Mom, in my 30s I didn't mind it too much, now that Mom has passed on and I'm in my 40s, I take it as a huge compliment when someone says I look like my Mom. It's funny how as we age we become what we thought we'd never be. Life is so interesting. I love how your father was so concerned about you and your choice of work, that's definitely farmer mentality but one of love and concern.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend Red!
You are right, we grow up to become our fathers, and the comfort is that our sons grow up to become us.
ReplyDeleteRuby, Darlin and Alan, the comments you make on this topic blow me away. It gives me much more to think about and share. It's comforting to know that other people have similar experiences. I'm sure that somewhere some one has written a whole book on this topic.
ReplyDeleteTime keeps on rolling along..it just rolls faster as we get older. I enjoyed your stories Red:)
ReplyDeleteFar side , you are so right that time rolls faster when we're older.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your words. It is an eye opener when our children become middle aged. I am enjoying "old age" and looking forward to 62, so I can retire : )So nice that you had the sweet validation from your father.
ReplyDeleteIt's that darn circle of life.. it just keeps on happening despite it all.
ReplyDelete