Now I can't think of very many places that I wouldn't want to go to. I'm sure some people have places they'd like to send me. I probably wouldn't like those places.
This is about senior care. Most of us will end up at some level of senior care before we take our leave. Since I visit people, I have been in a few senior care facilities. The two facilities my Dad lived in were a community of staff and residents. They did the best they could for Dad.
I found a senior care facility recently in which I would not want to become a resident.
A few posts ago I told you about Mitch finding a long term recuperation bed. I visited him 5 or 6 times while he was recuperating. I made up my mind that it was a very poor facility for seniors.
The place is a privately owned and run facility. It's huge with about 50-60 suites and various rooms. So they have people who rent a small suite and are completely independent. There are people who rent a small suite and take meals in the dining room. There are other people who need some care with dressing, washing or medication.
I saw an exercise room but didn't see any other amenities because I didn't look. Nobody was in the exercise room. There was a lounge for snacks and coffee. People sat around there by themselves but didn't seem to be enjoying a coffee.There was a small library with books, magazines, games and newspaper. Mitch was the only one I saw use the library. Mitch can read three newspapers a day.
People seemed to be roaming around by themselves and completely unoccupied. These people were not ill or suffering dementia. There was no community. These people were completely lost and alone. I thought what a wretched place to live. They house and feed the people but not much more.
There were three people around a front desk who were superficially very, very pleasant. But that doesn't transfer to the occupants.
So I decided that this was I place I would never like to become a resident.
Dear Red - Sorry not to be online for a bit and catch up on your posts, for I so enjoy them. I agree with you 100%. My brother's passing was swift, unexpected and he was never sick - always volunteering in the community for many, many things. My neighbour is going to such a place and I fear for her. She loves to read and play bridge, but I wish I could be a part of this change, to comfort her and say things will be OK, but you can bet your bottom dollar, that I will visit and if I see anything that makes me unhappy about her being there, I will become a voice to the family. I feel a sad spot in my heart for Mitch - visit him as often as you can and bring sunlight and laughter into his day. I do not want to be in a place like this either, but our wonderful government supports private owned and run facilities - not too bad if they actually cared about the residents, unfortunately I think the $$$$$ signs speak higher than calm, reassurance and games, music, perhaps a dance and light hearted fun. Take Care, Lilly
ReplyDeleteSympathy to you in the loss of your brother. A sudden passing doesn't give us any time to get our head prepared for a loss.
DeleteMitch was only in for 30 days and he's back home and well on the way to recovery. We do visit.
awww. i hope a few of the residents start up a friendship and change that - all it takes is a few.
ReplyDeleteIt really needs some leadership from the facility.
DeleteDid any of the residence seem interested in chatting, that does sound so sad and lonely.
ReplyDeleteNo, these people really seemed to be alone.
DeleteThat's really sad. Not a very nurturing atmosphere in other words.
ReplyDeleteIt's particularly tough if you don't have family to come and visit.
DeleteMy mother is in a wonderful retirement facility that provides all sorts of physical activities and other ways for socialization. My mom will have none of it, won't even eat the food and insists on cooking her own. I guess happiness is what you make of it.
ReplyDeleteYes, some people would never be happy. These people just seemed lost. I've visited other facilities and I don't see that.
DeleteOh I know that superficial niceness. My friend is going through that with the director and staff where her mother is. What a shame for those who have to live the last years of their life this way.
ReplyDeleteYes, the front looks glowing but behind the scenes could improve. it's really just a sales job.
DeleteI abhor those places too. It is a sad place to be. I worry that someday I may face a life in one. It is not something anyone likes to think about.
ReplyDeleteI think a high percentage of us will spend time in a senior care facility. We have govt. and private facilities. The private facilities seem to be only in it for money.
DeleteThose are awfull places to live, just to wait it is all over. It is the same here. Now they want the people to stay at home, but there is no money to care for them. They need some help don't they. The children should help them, but they live all over the country and not just around the corner anymore and have to work too.
ReplyDeleteYou describe what goes on here. I have a daughter in Chicago and a son on the west coast but no relatives here. My brothers live closer than my kids.
DeleteRed, I totally hear you.
ReplyDeleteHow has society become so lost that we take our young abandoned children and put them in orphanages, and our elderly and shove them in homes.
I know that there are communities for the elderly that work, but why do the elderly have to be separated from society, just because they need some care?
I know I am blessed in that I have been able to build a cottage on our property to have my parents close by. But, I too worry how I will cope if they become ill or infirm. There is no assistance.
Thanks for sharing and making us think about this issue.
The thing that really saddens me is when senior couples are separated. I hope your parents do well at your place with your help.
DeleteThe management should provide group activities; something interesting. There are probably many who may not have any family who lives close by. It's sad they live very long, boring days. I like cultures that have traditions of several generations living together.
ReplyDeleteOur culture until recently had several generations living together. My grandfather lived in our house for the last part of this life. This was in the 1950's. We thought it was great to have grandpa live with us.
DeleteWe have a couple of very good aged care homes near us. I was a volunteer in one of them for years until my husband needed my full-time help at home. There were activities organised every day in a social centre. But even so, I wouldn't want my husband or other close relative living there permanently - though he has had a 10-day period of respite in one of them while I took a break from the hard job of full-time carer. But no matter how good the standard of care, these are institutions, with all the rules, regulations and oversights that are to be found in institutions. They all lack the quality of 'homeliness' that we want for our loved ones. And I have vowed to keep my husband at home for as long as is possible, so long as I can manage physically. I know he feels comfortable and cared for here in our home; he knows where things are kept and is surrounded by familiar things and a family environment. No institution can make up for that.
ReplyDeleteThere's a wide variety of care facilities. Activities have to be organized. I'll never forget watching a group of seniors sing. they were full of enthusiasm and enjoyed themselves immensely. Denmark is experimenting with new ideas that sound very interesting.
DeleteI so agree that activities have to be organized. People move in not knowing anyone. Social activities would provide a way to get to know each other.
ReplyDeleteI think you've hit on the idea Red that it might not be a bad idea to check out places before we need them.
I know I'm not going to one until I HAVE to. :)
They are the same here, some are good and some are bad. I think it depends totally on the management and of course their volunteers. Volunteers are needed for many extra activities. Here a church group does Bingo once a week with cake or cookies..not much but the residents look forward to it every week:)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, this place sounds desperate for older people. How sad.
ReplyDelete