Now before you get too carried away, I did not have a baby!
I was not admitted because my wife had a baby.
There was no monstrous mistake.
It was not some grand practical joke.
But I swear I was genuinely admitted to a maternity ward.
It has to do with health authorities wanting to make a health buck go as far as possible. Their creative ideas put me in the maternity ward.
A few years ago my family doc decided that I should have sleep tests. A sleep test to determine if I had sleep apnea.
The good old health system had a plan. Since sleep tests are done at night and apparently babies come in the daytime , why not use the maternity ward for sleep tests. You stay over night and leave in the morning.
So there I was checking into the maternity ward at 8:00 PM.
I was expecting to find all kinds of new mothers inhabiting the ward. I wasn't sure I was going to like this.
The maternity ward was like a ghost town. They had no patients except on the second night there was one couple there in the evening.
So the sleep test people were wired up to the test apparatus and tucked into bed by 10:00 PM. Hoping people would sleep with wires attached from top to bottom was completely irrational. but I did stay in bed for the eight hour test.
I can't say that I had a good sleep but it was very quiet.
You have to admit this is pretty funny, especially how you tell it, Red!
ReplyDeleteThere aren't many babies being born in our maternity ward, either, but I took the sleep test at home. And yes, it was not a restful night!
You're right. Sleep tests are now done at home. However, it's still hard to sleep.
DeleteIt's a little odd to expect the maternity ward to be empty at night, as a great many labours start at night with baby born in the morning.
ReplyDeleteI have always wondered how people sleep with all the wires and so on, it can't be a very representative test!
Some interesting facts about times of birth:
https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/sa-visual/why-are-so-many-babies-born-around-8-00-a-m/
I wonder if this only happens in Alberta. My late uncle had the same experience of being put in maternity ward along with another elderly person, a woman he happened to know. The family all laughed about it at the time.
ReplyDeleteWas your uncle sent to the Wetaskiwin hospital?
DeleteI spent a night in the storage closet of a maternity ward, after my horse gave me flying lessons. The Lacombe babies didn't get the message, because the place was quite noisy that night.
ReplyDeleteClost? What is this world coming to? You were in bad shape that night.
DeleteLooks Like I can't spell closet!
DeleteFunny. I could never sleep during a sleep test, so there would be no point in my doing it.
ReplyDeleteThey are checking for your breathing rate and oxygen level in your blood. Apparently you will sleep enough for them to get the info they want.
DeleteThat must have been a weird experience.
ReplyDeleteWell, it was weird because I was all alone. It would have been interesting to have maternity patients.
DeleteThe doctor who sent you there probably still shares the tale at cocktail parties. It has all his fellow guests in stitches... "So there the teacher guy was, all wired up and the lead nurse comes in and she says I think it's gonna be twins Mr Kline! Ha-ha-ha-ha! You shoulda seen his face!"
ReplyDeleteMy poor old Doc was so serious that it was sad. Yes, the jokes from this scenario could be never ending. I couldn't make a comment on the song you wrote for Blue skies of Alberta so I don't want you to think I ignored you.
DeleteI hope you weren't offended by that song Red. It wasn't meant to cause upset.
DeleteGosh, you're a hoot. I hope you have a good sleep tonight!
ReplyDeleteI'm very poor sleeper. It's better now that my hearing is so bad.
DeleteFunny! With nobody in it, the ward could have been anything at all. You made it into a sleep lab. :-)
ReplyDeleteThe sleep lab wanted hospital beds so this is how they got them. Today they do the same test at home.
DeleteA long test to be in for. Hope all went OKay!LOL
ReplyDeleteIt was a long restless night but I didn't have to go on the machine.
DeleteMy friends had that test. It is a hopeless test. How do they even expect one do that test. The place was nosy even having a normal ward.
ReplyDeleteThe hospitals are short staffed. One friend going in for an operation was asked. Do you want to go into the maternity ward for knee operation. You will get more attention. We are short staffed. Mothers now a days have babies in rooms. So they can attend to them. Well that is the last place I would want to be after an operation with babies crying. You did well.
I didn't sleep much but apparently they can get the info they want. I like babies. They come to me and I put them to sleep right away.
DeleteI don't think I'd sleep well all wired up!
ReplyDeleteYou're right . It's a very poor sleep.
DeleteNot too many men can say that! I wonder how a sleep test works if you can't sleep.
ReplyDeleteThey want to monitor your breathing and measure the oxygen level in your blood. Apparently they can get the information they want.
DeleteHAHA! This made me smile. Not many men can say they were admitted in the maternity ward :)
ReplyDeleteI always wondered how those sleep tests worked. Glad your stay in the maternity ward was a quiet one :)
ReplyDeleteThat is clever thinking I suppose
ReplyDeleteI guess it's good that they use that facility for multiple purposes. I've never had a sleep test but probably should.
ReplyDeleteHA,HA FUNNY STORY - i HAVE TO ADMIT THAT AT FIRST I THOUGHT.....WHAT!!!!.....then read your story Red. I have heard of the tests, never knew anyone that had one till now. Sounds like a good place to rest on a not so busy night. HAPPY 150TH WEEKEND :)
ReplyDeleteI never knew that they conducted the sleep tests in a maternity ward. I have little trouble going to sleep, all I have to do is pick up a book. :) Being wired up is one sure way of keeping me awake.
ReplyDeleteYay for the Canadian health care system! I'm glad you can make it work. We're struggling with it now. Hmmmm.... maternity ward. Sounds fun. I'm glad you're OK. I agree with others; I don't think I could sleep well or at all in a strange place for that long. I don't even sleep that long at home.
ReplyDelete