- what was the best part of parenting for you, and what was the worst? why?
For this topic , I have to go back before kids. When we got married we had a somewhat unrealistic idea about having children. You turn on the tap and out come little children. I had an unrealistic idea about parenting and parent responsibility. I had a lot to learn and I didn't know it.
Then surprise surprise we found out that we weren't going to have children . Oh! So what do I do now? Mom said right away "Let's adopt." I wasn't that keen about adoption and said ,"There are other things in life that can be fulfilling. " Well, you know who won that issue. Adoptions were somewhat common at that time. Since we were northerners we had the idea of adopting aboriginal kids.
However, we applied in Red Deer and were very surprised to receive a placement . They had told us that it might take two years so it was a big surprise. .
Here's my first point. The adoption procedure is thorough. That is there isn't anything they don't ask so there isn't anything that you aren't made to think about. I've often said that all parents to be should have to go through the rigorous screening of adoption.
So one of the good parts about parenting was having to be prepared physically and in my own head.
The best part of parenting? Well as with many things in my life I don't pick one particular thing. Parenting was great. The most important thing was to love two little guys to death and to receive love in return. Well, there I went and said what was best about parenting! Watching two little munchkins grow and learn was fascinating. I noted heights and weights. I noted first teeth and walking and all the other firsts. It was fun to do things with kids like sledding , travelling and many more activities.
Personal characteristics that were discovered and grew were interesting. You were stubborn from a very young age. I asked you to put your toys away when you were about a year and a half old. You refused. I gave you a swat on the bum and that brought about no change. What I did do was distract you for a minute and then asked you to put the toys away and you put them away just like magic. It's one of those times that I wish I knew what was going on in your head. I learned something.
Parenting was a lot of work, particularly when you were infants. However , when you are in the middle of parenting infants, you are so busy that time goes by in a hurry.
One of the worst parts of parenting was to let go. It was hard to see you leave home. Some of the hassles in teen age years weren't fun but they come with the territory. I can't really think of any big fights or disagreements.
I'm sure this leaves more questions so fire away. It makes it more fun.
Discipline was the hardest for me as a parent. I finally found something that worked...and they hated it. Stand in the corner your nose touching the wall with one arm up and one leg up...oh I was a mean mama! The best times were the genuine smiles and hugs without asking!
ReplyDeleteYou liked things to be fast and dirty!
DeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteAs a parent it was wonderful watching our children grow, a worry when we had to work full time and leave our child with a day care. It is sad to see them grow and leave. We just hope they have a happy and healthy successful life. Take care, enjoy your day and week ahead!
I'm at the point where they say, "You looked after us when we needed it so we will look after you."
DeleteThe questions are giving you grist for the mill.
ReplyDeleteEven if they don't ask the right questions today, I hope they get it before I leave.
DeleteLots of memories with raising kids, I wouldn't change a thing.
ReplyDeleteAgreed, Agreed. Life would be miserable without them.
DeleteI would agree with all of this as an adoptee, also as a parent! I was 6 months old when I was adopted.
ReplyDeleteYou've done some research on this topic so you know what you're talking about.
DeleteThat's a terrific story, Red! I can tell that you enjoyed being their Dad! You have a good point about parents-to-be going through the questions that adoptive parents must go through. Parenting isn't easy!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately we see people who are completely unprepared for having children.
DeleteI love that photo of you with your two children. So sweet. It's lovely read these questions and answers.
ReplyDeleteI scanned my slides this year and was very surprised at how many photos we took.
DeleteI wholeheartedly agree all prospective parents ought to be run through the gauntlet before having kids, or tested, or both. It's not for the faint of heart, and it's such a HUGE responsibility that it needs to be done well. I'm sure at times we made you crazy, but in the end, things worked out pretty okay.
ReplyDeleteYes, there were messy times but that was part of the program. Did you ever see the information we had to provide. The first interview was two hours long.
Delete"I've often said that all parents to be should have to go through the rigorous screening of adoption." What an interesting concept. These questions and answers ... a whole new direction for Hiawatha House. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteHey John, I have to have some topics to write about!
DeleteIncredibly difficult but rewarding job, parenting! I enjoyed reading your post, Keith. In many ways you were a father figure to all us first year teachers back in the day :)
ReplyDeleteHey, it's good to see you show up here Colin. You might have looked at me as the old guy on staff, but I watched you like a hawk to learn knew things.
DeleteI sure am enjoying learning all about your past, Red. You were a true gift to those two children, that's for sure! As they were for you as well.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm like most people in that there ae places in my past that I'm not willing to go. I block it out.
DeleteI enjoyed this post Red. You and the Micro Manager are truly blessed to have two wonderful children! There are so many best things about our children but a couple I could say would be the smiles and love they give us and the absolutely unconditional love I feel for them. The worst things are seeing them in pain for any reason and not being able to help even when they are adults.
ReplyDeleteYes, thee were times I would feel incredibly sorry for them when they were sick or very unhappy. The one I remember most is when my daughter stepped on a ground wasp nest.
DeleteI enjoyed reading your response to this question and learning more about you. And of course I wondered how I would answer it.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that many people do not take the time to contemplate who they are and what they've done.
DeleteIn later years one of my daughters thanked me for letting her work through her mistakes instead of jumping in with solutions.
ReplyDeleteYou had to be patient to do that one but it's a good strategy.
ReplyDeleteMy parents adopted five children before I and my younger brother came along.
ReplyDeleteI have long felt that I would not make a good father, so I'll never have children.
oh this is such a beautiful and touching sharing dear Red !
ReplyDeletei have to thank your daughter for making you answer all these questions .
the best par about parenting made my eyes teary . yes it feels fascinating to seeing your own kids rising before you ,learning their basic moves and acting firsts .seems like now you learnt how you grew by your parents :) i believe we start to love and respect our parents genuinely when we become parents .
so true about the worst part of parenting ,i think most heart breaking and painful thing that parent bear happily because they want their kids to better life .
Your daughter has really got you under her spotlight Red! It's like you are the accused in a police interview room. I suspect that you were a rather lovely father because you have such a kind, tolerant and encouraging nature... unless of course you just fake it when blogging!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great read. I found being a parent was one of the best learning experiences. People offered advice which was always appreciated but when it came down to it I followed my own instincts and it all worked out.
ReplyDeleteThis was so very interesting. I also found parenting the most cherished of our experiences. However, it was also challenging, frustrating at times, aggravating at others and finally rewarding and grateful. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
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