Thursday, February 2, 2023

I SHOULD HAVE ASKED BEFORE NOW

            My sister died in 1953 at age eleven. Children were ignored at this time when it came to grief. My bother and I put this death out of our heads. The first time my brother and I talked about our sister's death was when we were in our 50's. 

          So I was thinking recently as to what date my sister's death occurred. I thought this would be an easy find. I checked the stone on her grave. The only thing there was February 1953 and age eleven. Then I thought the local history book would have the date but it wasn't there either. I checked a genealogy sight and there was no date there either. So I emailed my brother and thought for sure that he would have the date. He didn't have the date. 

        So it's surprising that the date of death is missing and hard to find. 

        So I have emailed vital statistics and hope that they have her date of death. 

      Then I also thought, "What about Mom?" What was her date of death? Mom died in a November and there was no date of death. I looked in all the usual places for info and it was not there. 

      This has got me curious as to why the dates of death are missing.

     For one thing I'm looking for this information far too late. 

     I know I'll find these dates.

     Has this happened to other families? 

43 comments:

  1. Nowadays, everything is accessible on the internet. Prior to the internet, it seems like some historical sites collected data like this after the fact, to put on the computer, but you have to know where to look. The one to ask would be Ed, over at Riverbend Journal.

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    1. I can go to vital statistics here and get it. The surprising thing for me is that none of us had the date.

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  2. It does actually save some money with the guy carving the headstone to eliminate some characters. Maybe the date isn't so traditional in your area. So sorry you lost a sister so young. Linda in Kansas

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    1. I'm quite sure price was involved when it came to what went on the marker. Her loss was devastating to my folks.

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  3. Hello,
    I am sure there is some place that has a record of your sister's death.
    Take care, have a great day and happy weekend!

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    1. I can go to vital statistics and they should have it.

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  4. I found some answers from ancestry.ca when I signed up. I didn't know my dad came here from England when he was 3. You can get a short subscription to it. Just a thought!

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    1. I've checked those sights and they only have the month.

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  5. Genealogy research is a bit of my every day life. The more I find, the more questions there are. Date of death is lost for many of my relatives too. Year is a good find, month is exceptional! So many records are lost!

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    1. I think dates will be kept now but I can't think of why they were not included before.

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  6. Hi Keith. It's Jackie. Amy is working on the family tree through Ancestry. I will see if she has dates and message you.

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    1. Yes, I've looked at those sights . Actually I spend quite a bit of time on it. I'm not sure how much Scot or his cousins know about family history and Doreen. If Doreen had lived there would not have been a David!

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  7. I didn't realize that many gravestones don't include the actual date of death but only the month and year. I do hope you find those dates.

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    1. You don't think about these things until it hits you.

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  8. Here in the U.S., there are two sources for this information. First is their death certificate which as a family member, you would be able to request. The second is our Social Security database. Everyone who dies gets entered into that and it is public record.

    Other sources that I check that are not always reliable are local newspaper obituaries, which often requires trips to libraries to view on microfiche. Sometimes church records will also list the date of death too if they were religious.

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    1. I have a request in to vital statistics for this information. I will look for her obituary but the paper it would have been in folded up many, many years ago.

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  9. To be honest Red I don't know the answer to your question. Both of my husbands dates of death I know but my parents I only know the year that they died.

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    1. we were kids at the time and didn't get the dates. I'm sure Mom would have had the day but she's gone.

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  10. How interesting. I think most of my family members' graves specify the exact date they died, but I guess that's not always the case.

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  11. When we are discussing the "olden days", my sister and I always wished we had kept better track of the family stories and dates. Now there is no one alive to ask and we can only guess at some things.

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    1. By the time we start wanting to know things it's to late. I asked Dad questions and he would say that he didn't know or forgot. He did volunteer some things that I hadn't thought about.

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  12. I hope you find a way to answer these questions about dates. I think there must be public records somewhere that have this information. I know that is true here in the US.

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    1. I have a request into vital statistics and should find it there.

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  13. The info should be somewhere, but tracking it down may prove interesting. It’s odd that such info can be found for other places (such as England) going back hundreds of years.

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  14. Red, I think I’m lucky … my mother wrote all the important dates into a family Bible. When she passed, the Bible became mine and, of course, I entered her passing date. But I haven’t done so well keeping it updated since then. My sister passed and I forgot to write her date in. So, I had to go online, and once again, I got lucky and found her obituary which had the date. So, I hope you’ll find the dates you are looking for.
    Now, on another Hiawatha House topic … this morning the big headlines here in “the states” is the big Chinese balloon drifting over our country and so I immediately recalled your Monday, November 28, 2022, post titled RADIOSONDE. The Chinese balloon has drifted all the way across the Pacific Ocean, maybe even Red Deer, and then Montana. Everyone is all stirred up about what kind of surveillance the Chinese are up to. Just a few minutes ago I saw an update where the Chinese are saying it is a weather balloon, just like you posted about. Maybe you will give us an update on Hiawatha House and let us know if you believe they are giving us the truth. John

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    1. To be honest, I haven't followed this story. I would think that the countries would have some protocol for a situation like this. I'm not sure what would make a balloon stay at a lower altitude and move horizontally. In the past churches kept very reliable records of statistics.

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  15. I wish you lots of luck in the finding the date of death info.

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    1. I'm checking with vital statistics here.

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  16. To be honest dear Red I am daughter of the woman who was kind of wonderwoman in remembering such dates and all relatives almost. I am totally opposite her can't remember dates. I remember months of my parents death but forgot dates even though it is not as old as your sister or mother.
    Hope you can find out

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    1. We were kids when this happened and Mom and Dad didn't pass it on.

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  17. I should think death certificates would be accessible.

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  18. My husband Tom is the family genealogist, so if there is a date to be found, including back several hundred years, he has it. I, on the other hand, don't remember just off hand, when my sister died two years ago.

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    1. Good comparison of the two of you. We were kids when this happened and now that we are elderly it's become important.

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  19. Hasn't happened to us, but I sure have difficulty remembering the dates!

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    1. These elderly memories are not that good anymore.

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  20. I believe it was common to just put a month and a year for the death. Have you tried Family Search? It is a free site that has death and birth info:)

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  21. My brother killed himself. The rest of the family was away on vacation. The coroner estimated the actual date. If people ask me, I say he died on the 33rd of August.

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  22. You're right that in most cases it was year and month. I'm checking with vital statistics and should find it there.

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  23. Hi Red, I found some info on your Mom at Family search. She died 16 Nov 1973 in Melfort Saskatchewan birthdate was 20 May 1914 in Portage la Prairie Manitoba. I have located your sister Doreen but have not found a death date other than Feb 1953. You may have to visit a Vital Statistics place and submit forms to find out and get a death certificate.

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  24. Hubby has done a lot of genealogy searches on both sides of our family. I just asked him and he said it's all over the place, sometimes they have the dates of birth and deaths but not always. It's hit and miss.

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  25. I'm afraid we don't have that problem so I'm not able to help you with this one. I guess the Japanese were sticklers for this sort of thing. I think. Then again.... do I know when my grandfather here in Hawaii died? Hmmm... I just looked and yes, I do have that information.

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