The last two mornings the CBC'S the Current has had their whole hour and a half program on dementia. They have covered causes, research, care, caregivers, medications and much more. They interviewed many experts on dementia. Governments and health care facilities are worried as the baby boomers group nears a peak time for developing dementia. They are wondering how the system will cope.
This morning there was a major segment on care givers. Many people attempt to care for a relative with dementia. Many give excellent care but sooner or later they become exhausted.
This section of the documentary made me think of my Dad's situation. Dad developed late on set Parkinson's . We had a wonderful Step Mom. She was capable and competent. She was determined to look after Dad. I lived 1400 km (900 mi.) away from Dad and my brothers were 800 km (500 mi) away from Dad. It was good that she was determined to look after Dad. We were consulted before any decisions were made about Dad's changes care and our step mom made sure everybody was on side.
The problems that happened in the home were falling. At first she managed. Then he fell one night and she couldn't get him up so that ended care at home. Dad also did a little wandering at night. Our step mom would watch him as he went outside and looked up and down the street. She asked him one time what he was looking for. He said, " He was looking for his truck with a load of pigs."
However, a time came when it was not possible to care for Dad at home anymore. First, there were several respites and then the time came for full time care. Our step mom spent time with Dad everyday.
Now I joked with my step mom one time that Dad may outlive her and she would not be able to complete her mission of looking after Dad to the end. Sure enough. That's what happened.
We were fortunate enough to get Dad moved back home to a nursing home. Here he had three sons and many grandchildren. Care was still an issue as he continued to deteriorate.
When listening to the stories on the documentary I couldn't help but think that we were fortunate in how our Dad was cared for. For many people the care can be a disaster.
Red, dementia, reduction of reason, madness. Call it what you want. Over here we call it Alzheimer's disease. That says it all as nobody with it and half the carers for it couldn't spell Alzheimer. Have I spelt it right? If not I may have it.
ReplyDeleteMy mother had it, she was always a bit off kilter but gradually from the age of thirty five got worse. She died totally petrified two years ago at the age of eighty odd. It is awful and cruel as it sounds, I knew as a child she wasn't quite right.
They are going more toward the term dementia as they discovery that there are many different dementias. Yes, it's bad news for all.
DeleteShe sounds like she was a fine caretaker for as long as she could do it. Nobody in our family has ever lived long enough to develop dementia, so we don't know if it runs in our family or not. I sure hope not!
ReplyDeleteThere is a hereditary link but I'm not sure how strong that link is.
DeleteSad but true.My Dad's in a nursing home about 30 miles away. He also has dementia, but he still knows who I am. He's in a wheelchair, as his hips are so bad. He's 93. It sounds like your Dad had a wonderful caregiver for as long as she could manage it.
ReplyDeleteOur step mom was a very down to earth kind of person. She did what had to be done with no complaining.
DeleteLots of us ready to enter this world. I have worked with geriatrics a bit and really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteWe need lots of people who will work in the geriatric field and love it. We also need geriatric specialists.
DeleteIt is a sad end when somebody you love ends so confused. Both my mother and mother in law suffered from Alzheimer at the same time. It took a long time to find a place with care for them. In the meantime my mother took busses in the middle of the night to go shopping, etc., etc.
ReplyDeleteSpace is hard to get here too. WE are also shipped out of town to more rural areas which have space.
Deletemy mother died from alzheimers, but not in the usual, long-drawn out way. it was tragic and traumatic, but i am glad she went quickly.
ReplyDeleteSo the program I listened to the other day explained that there were many forms of dementia.
DeleteHow wonderful that your step Mom was able to care for him for so long. My sister in laws Mother had dementia, her husband slept in a recliner that blocked the doorway at night or she would wander...he did this for years:)
ReplyDeleteThe wandering is a big problem. There have been many situations where people have perished.
DeleteI read a recent report that claimed half of all people living to the age of eighty suffer from dementia or Alzheimer's Disease. If this is true, why are they working so hard to extend the human lifespan? What a cruel disease it is that robs older people of their most cherished possessions---their memories.
ReplyDeleteThere are many forms of dementia so some are quite mild. We are just dozy!
DeleteI'm so glad your Dad was in good hands. Of most concern is the fact that good care is hard to find and getting harder.
ReplyDeleteThe care is also difficult to give. But yes, good care is most important.
DeleteThank goodness your dad was well-cared for. I have read stories about how the caregivers experience emotional fatigue and how it can lead to them ignoring the person's needs. It takes a special person to be a caregiver doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteMany times the caretaker is burned out and you have two people who need care.
DeleteCaregiving can be rewarding, but it can also be incredibly difficult. I looked after my mother in the final year of her life and it was so exhausting. I can't even imagine the demands of caring for someone longterm. Very difficult not to get burned out. Caregivers deserve a lot of respect and support. Your stepmom sounded like a real gem!
ReplyDeleteOur step mom had support but not who you would expect it from. Her daughter, our step sister, was very supportive.
DeleteIt is a difficult job to care for someone with dementia, and I admire anyone who does it. You never know who the disease will hit. Could be any one of us.
ReplyDeleteThe chances of dementia are very good. Fortunately some of it is not very severe.
DeleteI have worked with many Dementia "Alzheimer" patients. They are all different with the disease and all robbed differently of their movement and memories. We looked after my Aunti for 12 years before she had to be moved to a Alzheimer's unit the last two years of her life. I watched this wonderfully knowledgeable, worldly woman who loved life and loved to sing, slowly move back to an approx 1-2 yr. old mind. For Aunti, it was a slow process and yet, I have also seen it move quite rapidly in others. There are moments when the individual is just normal and then they lapse back into the dementia. Good to be informed on this subject Red and very good read.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, Red, I had a long-term caring role for my husband, who suffered from a rare form of dementia that robbed him of his ability to use or understand language, among other things, and which eventually killed him. And while I agree that caring is a tough role, for me it was also deeply satisfying to be able to contribute to maintaining some quality of life for the man who had done so much for me over the years. But meeting physical needs, however difficult, is easier than meeting the loved one's deep need to continue to find meaning in their constrained life. For my husband, listening to classical music, walking hand in hand in the garden, being showered every morning, having a tea party with his toddler grand-daughter, floating in the pool in the afternoon - these were all equally important. I feel sad for anyone who doesn't have a life partner who can provide than kind of loving care in a family environment. I guess that means I must be concerned for my own future, now that I'm left alone. But while I agree we must honor the devotion and care that many people give to loved ones, I can also assure your readers that the rewards one gets from caring can also be (and certainly was, in my case) the greatest satisfaction imaginable. And while we should all give whatever help we can to any caregivers we know, we shouldn't feel sorry for them. Many of them feel privileged to be able to do that job for a loved one.
ReplyDeleteI think of all caregivers as special but those who care for dementia patients are extra special people. My best friend from childhood died before she was 60 with Alzheimer's. I still get teary every time I remember her and give thanks that she was blessed with a wonderful husband and sons. I pray it's not in my future.
ReplyDeleteWow! Your stepmom was a real angel. You were all very fortunate to have her. Dementia and Alzheimer is something I've always worried about since my father and all, but one of his siblings had it. They say exercise is important and a good diet. It's why I go to zumba. Sigh...
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