In the past year the topic of sexual assault has been common, regular and often.
There's much to say about sexual assault but not much seems to do any good. Sexual assault has probably been committed since we showed up on the planet.
There are the usual blah blah blahs. Simple ideas are given as to why sexual assault continues to occur. The common excuses and blame go on forever and are repeated. In Alberta, we've had a judge lose his position as he asked a complainant why she didn't keep her legs together to prevent an assault.
The law does not seem to come up with a practical process of dealing with sexual assault in the courts. The complainant is forced to defend herself from various lame accusations. Women are reluctant to report assault as the court process is demeaning and not highly reliable or successful.
So sexual assault goes on and there at very few convictions so males fell that the odds are very good that they can get away with things.
Over and over we hear about education and talking. Men and women talking?
Boys, it's time men talked to men. Yes, men talk now . They brag about assaults and egg each other on. Donald Trump is one who openly brags and laughs about his assaults. He gets away with his actions and those assaulted carry the pain of the assaults. Talk is dismissed as locker room talk so it's harmless. Too many clowns go out and walk the talk and assault. This same locker room talk gives many males the idea that assault is funny.
Men commit the assaults. It's up to men to talk to one another about sexual assault and get it through their heads that it's disgustingly wrong. . It's up to men to control the flippant joking about sexual assault. It's up to men to call each other on yakking about sexual assault and how funny it would be. It's up to men to talk to each other and realize how harmful the assaults are. Men have to step up and take a stand. It won't be easy. The bullies will make it difficult.
Men have got to get serious and take responsibility for sexual assault. No one is out there asking to be assaulted.
Maybe, just maybe, the many people making accusations now will have some effect on the rate of sexual assault.
Red, I like your post. I think it is high time men talk to men and teach one another what is appropriate and what is not. I know some mothers (sisters and maybe daughters) do that with the men in their families too. Sexual assault is so common. I venture to guess every woman has had to deal with it in some fashion or another. I hope the latest snowball of scandals will improve things for the better.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think the recent accusations will have results. There must be some consequences.
DeleteLike Rob Reiner recently said, it's not just Hollywood, it's everywhere.
ReplyDeleteIt's everywhere and people are not willing to admit it.
DeleteI am glad that it is not being glossed over as it was in the past. But I don't think that it will ever go away. As you said, Red, it's been around since we first showed up on the planet. That doesn't make it right, and hopefully men will do as you say and not listen to braggarts. Sigh. And Trump got elected anyway. :-(
ReplyDeleteSome others have paid a big price and they haven't been in court yet.
DeleteTrump has used that term "locker room talk" a few times - as if what men say behind closed doors is okay. He's wrong. The sexual assault and physical harassment of women begins with talk and bad sexual thoughts which turn women into prey or trophies to be bagged. Shame on you Trump!
ReplyDeleteIn Trump's case he bragged about the assaults. To this point he's got away with it.
DeleteIt is everywhere, and it is repugnant.
ReplyDeleteHopefully some day people get it that it is repugnant. Good adjective for it.
Deletesad anyone needs to put up with this
ReplyDeleteAlso sad that we put up with it.
DeleteThe key to solving this problem is having more women in positions of authority. Get enough powerful women to say "no" and this will become less of a problem.
ReplyDeleteOur system has developed with little input from women.
DeleteWell it is certainly makes the nightly news. Frankenstein is the latest news, he is a bum and should be thrown out. What ever takes these women so long to come forward? They are to blame also, it should be reported immediately...why wait? :)
ReplyDeleteSexual assault is very difficult to come forward and make a complaint. Too often people want it swept under the rug.
DeleteWell said, Red. It's probably never going to go away altogether, but the revelations happening now will help. And so will men talking to men, and parents talking to their kids.
ReplyDeleteRevelations and some convictions in court might bring some sense to some people.
DeleteGood post. Thank you Red.
ReplyDeleteI feel that the huge number of revelations happening right now and subsequent media attention are going to be a kind of tipping point. It will still happen but people will think more before they make an assault and people will think more before they organise a cover up
ReplyDeleteI agree. Men should not be supporting or encouraging this type of behaviour, and they should talk about this. And parents should raise their boys to treat women with respect and discourage this type of attitude. Accountability is way overdue and I'd like to see some convictions in court that will send out a message that this is unacceptable.
ReplyDeleteBravo! This is so true. It's up to men to model behavior that will show boys how to be civilized and respectful to ALL other humans.
ReplyDeleteHear, hear! However, with someone like the Groper in Chief of our country in power, I don't see a sea change in the culture in the near future. Every woman who voted for Trump or any of the others after the allegations come out is saying, "It's nothing, it's okay, boys will be boys...".
ReplyDeleteWow, Red, I think this is the most powerful post I’ve seen on Hiawatha House. Congratulations on telling it like it is and especially with regard to a topic that is difficult to address. The way I see it our culture is changing faster than ever before and, I believe, largely due to the internet and social media. Thanks for a post that pushes us all toward greater respect for everyone!
ReplyDeleteWell said, Red. My addition of being a coach at an ancient age of 45 after beginning teaching at 22 led me into many locker. It was disgusting and immoral and the jocks caught on that I wouldn't tolerate it. Times are beginning finally to change the conversation and I'm glad this is so....:)
ReplyDeleteYou have made some good points, Red. Men do need to take responsibility for the image they present to other men. Those who have the courage of their convictions need to speak out and say "That's just not cool".
ReplyDeletea "Perfect post" Red!
ReplyDeletewhen i was in my teens i was fascinated by the western way of life as some of my relatives lived in u.s and whenever i met them as girl i envy girls who who were enjoying the liberal environments for life which i found essential for growth of one's personality but as i grew old my opinions changed with the time .
i live in developing country where people have flaws though but still there is some kind of hesitation in people for such crucial crimes .
assault occurres but not as MUCH and OPENLY .
Being a woman i can say that there is still limit to such actions of men around ,but i know that everything took time to reach here and it seems to reach here swiftly now .
This is rule everything that after reaching to it's peak it starts dropping no matter how hard we try so i believe that at certain point of the time era will come when men will be afraid of woman ,and inevitably control his wild ventures