So the big number here is about age. I mentioned my brother's age and it's very senior although he might disagree with me.
Coming to this age, there should be some very important decisions made. I can't make those decisions.
We've looked at five senior residences. There's a wide variety of accommodations and prices. We know the one we would chose and have given them our name. These are two bedroom with small living room and a few kitchen facilities but not enough to live there and do your own cooking. You eat at the facility. So for around $4000.00 a month you have your accommodation and food. There also could be some care.
So what's my problem. I like my house and yard! I get pleasure out of growing a garden and watching other plants develop.
Well, I have a second problem which is bigger than the first. We have a lot of "stuff". Some one is finding it very hard to part with the stuff. Over the years we've got rid of big stuff and lots of little stuff too but there's still an amazing amount here. So the longer we wait, the more likely the decision will be forced upon us.
So I'm not looking for advice. I know what to do but I have put some roadblocks in the way.
Meanwhile, life is good.
I'm sure you'll implement your decisions when it becomes unavoidable. My mother had exactly the same reluctance to move, which was even more understandable as she was visually impaired and knew where everything was in the house where she'd lived for 50 years.
ReplyDeleteThere probably will be a time when decisions will be made rapidly. Reality will set in.
DeleteI'm trying to reduce my...and our..stuff already.
ReplyDeleteSome things I love but the offspring don't want are going to new homes...some just have to be sold or donated.
I don't want what happened five doors down...the husband died and his wife and daughter put everything in the skips...even useful stuff..
If you could find a small place with a garden....
Same here. Our kids want very little. Our kids are in their 50's so they are not to far from getting rid of a few things.
DeleteBig decisions. I find the garden important in keeping happy and active, and boring household chores a pleasure so long as you don't think you should be doing something else.
ReplyDeleteOh Boy! Those boring household chores. I know about that.
DeleteHaving seen similar situations unfolding, I think that it's best if older people make their own decisions, pre-empting final moves rather than having them forced upon them by circumstances. Stuff is only stuff. You cannot take it with you when you die even tough Egyptian pharoahs mistakenly thought they could!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. Reality is sometimes hard to find.
DeleteI understand the health benefits, both physically and mentally, that come from being outside in a yard taking care of a garden. I understand how hard it would be to no longer have that as part of your life!
ReplyDeleteReality has to be faced when we are no longer physically able to look after things.
DeleteYes, life is good indeed!
ReplyDeleteSure good around here!
DeleteI am worried about my sister who lives in Florida and has evacuated in light of the hurricane bearing down on the entire state. Otherwise I am feeling pretty good, too, having recovered from covid.
ReplyDeleteI hope your sister is safe in this storm.
DeleteThat is a big decision to make and I know what you mean about stuff! And there is the added worry about how long will I live and will my money last that long? You are smart to have checked out places you might want to move to. I'm not ready for that yet. Luckily, my oldest son lives with me and so I can manage to stay in my home for awhile yet.
ReplyDeleteSo you bring up another issue I have. My daughter lives in Chicago and my son lives on the west coast so no help there.
DeleteBack when my grandparents were agonizing over a similar choice, they had all the same fears. But once they finally bit the bullet and moved in, they often told me it was one of their better decisions. They liked being free of so many possessions and maintenance jobs that come with owning a house. My grandmother especially really enjoyed her time of going to evening card games and puzzle parties in the common areas of their senior resident home.
ReplyDeleteI grew to like the place during my visits. I loved the community aspect of living someplace where everyone knew your name.
Stuff is hard. I don't ever want to give up and go, but who knows what will happen?
ReplyDeleteWe really don't have much control in some things.
DeleteEnjoy your life, things will work out.
ReplyDeleteI don't spend much time worrying.
DeleteWe have a big home and a big garden and it's all lots of work, but we still love it all. WE have less stuff than we did have but still too much. Now that we are both in our 80's we have to think about what's next, but no decisions have been made. We are staying put for now.
ReplyDeleteYou are fortunate to have your kids in the area.
DeleteIf you can manage to make the move before it is forced, the sense of control will help.
ReplyDeleteMy parents are 84 and 82 and rapidly declining but haven't made any concessions to their changing abilities. It's a terrible thing to watch
Oh I know! I still think that I can do much more than my actual ability.
DeleteThose are hard decisions. One day at a time:) We have too much stuff too:)
ReplyDeleteI have to start the one day at a time some day.
DeleteGood luck working out all the details of your next adventure. It will all just fall in place when you actually reach that fork in the road.
ReplyDeleteYes, I will have to come to terms with things.
DeleteI think that Joanne is exactly right.
ReplyDeleteMr. Red, you said you didn't want advice, but we're your friends. As a hospice RN, I saw many different "facilities" or retirement apartments. I saw an article that matched with what I observed and experienced trying to give nursing care in a "facility." The fancier they are, (and usually more expensive,) the less physical care is provided by staff when you need it. A boring, plain one that is still clean (look in the corner of a resident's room on the floor,) usually places more of the money toward proper staffing. A nurse "available 24/7," usually means an LPN, maybe an RN is reachable by phone, not physically on campus except for the day shift. Several have pretty big community gardens with spots for gardening residents, water hose provided. Or, be the couple to start such a garden! Look for old nursing homes or schools that churches or agencies turned into retirement apartments. I live in such a place, and the price and freedom is wonderful. My ground-level apartment used to be the community annex room for a 1962 nursing home. It's now a 3 bedroom spot, full little kitchen, with my own patio and a 17x3' garden, and 20 steps to my car. A nurse buddy told me about her church's mission being these unique apartments. I'm blessed. Most of my rooms have 2 closets, that were previously for Patient A and Patient B. I have 8-foot wide windows with marble sills. About half the cost of a new equivelent, with all ultilities except phone and internet included. Sounds like you've done some good research. Be careful. Some charge extra per month for every increasing type of care you may need in the future. One of my patients needing bath and toileting assistance was charged for each incident. Added up on top of the bill! Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteAll the best! You sound like you have a plan, but a good mindset, too.
ReplyDeleteBig numbers... enjoy... enjoy life.
ReplyDeleteYes think positively... surround yourself with beautiful things.
I understand you, I don't even want to think about it... no, I don't. Not yet.
All kind wishes go to you.
Thank you for your words.
Good to know life is good! We have been discussing downsizing and moving to a place without stairs. We have a lot of stuff too so I can relate. Not sure when this is going to happen for us as right now we are just in the talking stage. Frankly we can see the writing on the wall.
ReplyDelete