CHILDREN

     I listened to a talk show the other day about people who have children and don't want them. It's a topic that touches me greatly.

     Having spent my career working with children, I've seen it all. There are many reasons why people may not want the children they have. Parents may try to keep that issue private but kids know what's going on. 

    It is very cruel to kids when they are not wanted. Rejection influences every part of a kid's life. I've seen kids struggle in school performance, behavior and socialization.

    My children were adopted. I often think of the procedure we had to go through. 

    We had to have a serious discussion with each other if we really wanted children. My view was that I could have a happy satisfying life with children or without. We chose to adopt. 

    Now we had just moved to a new area so we thought we'd get an application in. 

   First of all, there was an extensive application form. We had to get number of references. Then, there was a two hour interview. We were really made to think about things. 

   We were told that there could be a two year wait so the clock started ticking. A placement was made in three months and it took us completely by surprise. We did not have any baby clothes or  furniture. We had to ask for extra time to buy things.

    They show you the baby and then they ask a number of times if we want the child. That was hard. I wondered what they were doing. 

    So what I'm thinking is that if all people had to go through this procedure that there might be fewer problems of parents not wanting the children they've got.  

    It's a much different world than when women stayed in the home. Now both parents are out of the home and care is shared by other organizations. 

   And yes, both my kids will be reading this post and they will make comments to Dad.