My wife was born and raised in England until she was 14 and came to Canada.
Her father died when she was nine and her mother became incapacitated shortly after. She had a sister who was 5 years older and a brother who was five years younger. They tried to live on their own with their mother but it didn't work out. They were split up and went to live with relatives...older relatives whose own children had left the home. These aunts and uncles did not want young kids so it was arranged that they would come to Canada to live with and uncle.
When thy left England they were not able to take much with them. Some of the personal things they had were left.
So I'm getting to the point of my post. They were given some small gifts before they left England. Today I was cleaning and upset a box of stuff that I wanted to get rid of for downsizing. I picked up a little book like thing and asked her , "what's this?" She said it's a gift I was given before I left England. It hit me why some of the things she has are so meaningful. She had very little so the small gifts mean a lot to her to this day.
So I understand why downsizing here moves at a glacial pace.
She also knows who gave her every gift all through her life.
What a sad but beautiful story of surviving. Hope she was able to stay in touch with her siblings. That book is a family keepsake! (My Mom's mother died of TB in the 1930s, when 12 years old, and was passed around to 3 different aunts.) I've even put descriptions on the back or underside of family furniture, paintings or photos listing where and when it was acquired, on masking tape. Might keep my son from trashing them after I'm gone. I haven't seen any stools like my Grandma's milking stool that I have. I sat in it when I was very little. Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteThey did stay in contact as they usually lived close to each other.
DeleteI understand completely.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard
That situation stays with you for your whole life.
DeleteClearly, I had developed a very mistaken version of how your wife arrived in Canada. I thought she was trained as a nurse in England before heading out to the land of the maple leaf where a handsome young teacher was waiting for her. I didn't realise that her family kind of fell apart. Is she still in touch with her younger siblings Red?
ReplyDeleteBoth her siblings have passed away and they dis stay in contact. Her brother died at age 50. Her dad died at age 69 and Jean was nine years old. So that was the first mistake.
DeleteGood job Jean found her cute toyboy up in the Arctic. I guess she had been looking for an Inuit. Instead she got a Saskatchewan farming lad.
DeleteI can understand why it would be hard for your wife to part with things.
ReplyDeleteA situation like she was in stays with you for your whole life.
DeleteDownsizing is a chore, it is nice to look back at happy memories.
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday! Have a wonderful week!
For some people it's a chore because they value things.
DeleteWhat a traumatic young life your wife had. In her case, little things really do mean a lot.
ReplyDeleteIt was crazy but all three of them did well.
DeleteMy wife is like that: knowing from where and whom every little thing came from.
ReplyDeleteI don't value things so I don't remember much about stuff.
DeleteOh, your wife had a hard life. How scary to be moved from relative to relative and sent all the way to a new country. What a brave young woman she would have to be.
ReplyDeleteShe came with a brother and sister. The sister was 5 years older and the brother five years younger.
Deleteoh my so sad that her Dad died and he Mother could not care for her children. Downsizing is hard but necessary. She is having a hard time letting go.
ReplyDeleteShe values things where I do not.
DeleteWhat a sad story, Red. Did she ever see her mother again? I imagine that an experience like that really shapes the person that you become. I hope that her aunt and uncle were kind people. So many times you hear stories of people who took children who were not at all kind.
ReplyDeleteThey never saw their Mom again. That situation stays with you all your life. The Auntie here was horrible and Jean moved in with a cousin.
DeleteWhat is the book-like thing? Is it a book or something else? Yes, we can never know what certain objects may mean to another person or what memories they evoke. That's why we all have to be in charge of our own stuff!
ReplyDeleteActually it was a manicure set.
DeleteInteresting post. My dad also left England for America with his parents and siblings when he was 11 (and the oldest). They actually came over 3 times between 1918 and 19120 - finally settling in Florida. His uncle (his dad's brother) moved from England to Canada around that time (around Vancouver I think). Anyway, my point is that I have several old books of my dad's that mean nothing to anyone but me. But I have to keep them because as you say, they are 'meaningful'.
ReplyDeleteThey are called keepsakes. Many people feel as if they are letting part of the person go.
DeleteBless your 💕 hearts. Such a touching 😢 💙 story. Thank you so much for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteIt was an unbelievable sad story. It's come out in bits and pieces over the years.
DeleteRed, I guess this story just goes to show that you can live with someone for many years and still not know all that happened to them before you met. John
ReplyDeleteBits and pieces still come out.
DeleteSome things mean a lot to people so those will be treasured forever.
ReplyDeleteSome people value things. I am not attracted to things.
DeleteI can't even imagine how hard that was for your wife, going to live with a relative she didn't even know, in a strange country, at the ripe old age of fourteen. No wonder those things gifts were so special.
ReplyDeleteI'm reading a book right now that you might find appealing. It's set in Alberta in 1905. The main character ends up in Red Deer and Lacombe briefly, before homesteading outside Alix (or Toddsville as it was known then). You might find it interesting, I know I'm enjoying it. It's "Finding Flora" by Elinor Florence. A look back to homesteading days.
My gosh, what a story of survival! Her little book like thing holds many memories. I wonder would she share more bits and pieces with you as she holds that gift she received!
ReplyDeleteDownsizing may take your wife a bit longer…understandably.
ReplyDeleteIt is much easier tossing things when I don't know the meaning behind them. I have a box of small things that mean something to me but my wife would love to purge. I'm sure she has a stash of things somewhere too.
ReplyDeleteThis was heartbreaking story of your dear wife dear Red!
ReplyDeleteLoosing parents at such a young age and raising two even younger siblings must be really hard 🥹
But I think that as she had relatively good times while growing up she might have found better environments and experiences which are unimaginable in this time sadly.
The mention of her gift made my eyes teary 🥹
Yes it must have been meaningful to her🥹♥️♥️♥️
I am glad she still has those memories. I have a drawer filled with stuff I could never part with, most given by friends and family who have passed.
ReplyDeleteA poignant post of your wife's past.
ReplyDelete