A few weeks ago a friend told me that Jennifer had died. Jennifer was a mutual friend. Although we did not see her much anymore, she was still a great friend. I first met her in the Arctic.
I was shocked to hear that Jennifer had passed away. We talked about her children and the things that Jennifer was noted for. When I got home I looked for Jennifer's obituary. I couldn't find it. I was told that her funeral would be in a certain church Nov. 30. This was odd because Jennifer did not attend church.
Several weeks later I was having lunch with my friend and asked him about Jennifer's funeral. He looked surprised and said, "Did I say Jennifer? I meant Joan!"
So all this time I was wasting my time grieving for Jennifer and she was still very much alive. The person who died was one of Jennifer's good friends. So I got yo Joan's funeral and remembered a very active person.
It's funny how today we have friends and we don't see them very often. I don't know if it has something to do with age when we don't go out very often or if there's some other reason that we don't get out with friends very much anymore.
What a story, you were grieving for Jennifer and it was Joan who died. Did you get inspired by this to contact Jennifer? Yes as I age I find it harder to get together with friends. But I always enjoy it when I do. A dear friend of mine died recently so we need to treasure the friends we can still meet with.
ReplyDeleteI didn't contact Jennifer but one of the group did contact her.
DeleteWhat a mixup! Thankfully your friend Jennifer is still alive. I'm sorry you lost another friend though. It's true that we often see so little of our friends these days. This is what bothers me most besides also not seeing family members as often as I'd like. This seems to be a very common issue.
ReplyDeleteJoan was 92 and fought dementia for the last 5 years. 5 years ago she didn't know who I was even after I explained. Sad.
DeleteOh Gosh! What a mix-up! I keep finding folks I knew that have now died. Maybe I better double-check! Hang in there. Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteThe two women were involved in many of the same activities so one slip of the tongue and there's a mix up.
DeleteIt takes effort to keep in touch with friends when distance is a problem. Family matters intrude, too, but it's sad when friends die and we haven't seen them for a long while.
ReplyDeleteJoan fought dementia for the last 5 years. Jennifer, at 88, now lives a very quiet life.
DeleteAs a former English teacher, I cannot help pointing out that you mis-spelt "GRIEVING" in this blogpost's title Red. I say this - not to score points nor to humiliate you in any way but just in the name of accuracy. I hope you don't mind.
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't mind the tip. However, I did get the spelling correct in other places. I wanted kids to edit. I would write a piece on the overhead and then open it to editing. They were on the edge of their seats to give me advice.
DeleteIt is sad when our friends start dying. There are times I get names mixed up, does Jennifer know Joan too. Take care, enjoy your day.
ReplyDeleteThe two worked on many of the same projects. They were both in the Arctic. This was a name mix up.
DeleteOh my gosh, I hope Jennifer did not hear about this! I find too that getting together with friends has fallen by the way side. It seems to take an extra effort to organize something and I don't always care to be the one to initiate. Some friends are still in the work force. I have become guilty of mostly going about my own business filling my days with things I love to do!
ReplyDeleteBoth women knew each other well. Jennifer will be upset that she missed the memorial.
DeleteOh dear, sad for Joan’s family but glad your old friend is okay. We are at the stage of our lives where social gatherings are not very frequent but meeting old friends would be as if we only saw them yesterday. Distance is a large part of that. People have moved to be closer to their children.
ReplyDeleteI taught with about 100 different teachers over my career. I see very few of them now.
DeleteOh, gosh. That really was quite something!
ReplyDeleteJust a slip of the tongue.
DeleteI'm glad to learn you didn't lose a friend after all. But at our age, Red, it happens more and more often. It's the way life works, until it doesn't.
ReplyDeleteBoth women were friends. Joan fought dementia for the last 5 years. She didn't know who I was.
DeleteWasn’t there a famous quote about the reports of someone’s demise bing greatly exaggerated? I should look it up sometime, but it can be awkward on the tablet when I don’t want to shut this window.
ReplyDeleteI think that's a quote from Mark Twain.
DeleteI'm lucky to have a group of old high school friends that meet up once a month for brunch. I hadn't seen these women since high school and only reconnected after I retired. We have so much in common with the same aches, memories, laughs and so our brunches are always great fun. I'm glad your friend Jennifer did not die and I think you should reach out to her now while you can.
ReplyDeleteI'm meeting next week with 5 former colleagues.
DeleteRed, you bring up a really important point about how friendships evolve as we age. Life seems to get busier, and even though we value our friends deeply, it’s easy to let time slip by without connecting. John
ReplyDeleteWe just slow down and don't seem to be able to do as much any more.
DeleteWe do lose touch over time with many friends but the feelings are still there.
ReplyDeleteGood point here. there ae many people I would like to see again.
DeleteGlad Jennifer is alive, whew
ReplyDeleteBoth these women were friends.
DeleteSometimes we just come across someone who we knew has died. Maybe we live far away but all we can do is remember the times we spent with that person.
ReplyDeleteWe remember the good times.
DeleteReminds me of a poem, "Around the Corner" by Charles Henson Towne. Too long to print. Google it. It's about losing friends as we age...
ReplyDeleteI think that Covid changed many things...for us we rarely go inside a place to eat...we like Patio places and drive thrus or go early in the aftrnoon past the lunch rush when few people are around. We used to play cards in the evenings with neighbors...don't do that anymore either.Seems like someone I know shows up in the obits every week.
ReplyDeleteAs we age we lose many people.
DeleteLOL. Red, it reminds me of a story. For whatever reason, while I was living far from home, I got word that a classmate had died. I cannot remember who even told me. It was long before facebook, and the internet and social media. In any case, I was not close to this person, so I just tucked that away as a sad anecdote of a too short life. Long story short, years after the fact, I was once again back where I started. I ran into this long dead classmate at the store.
ReplyDeleteThese stories are more common than you think.
DeleteWell, I'm glad Jennifer's alive, but a shame about Joan! I was hoping maybe no one died at all.
ReplyDeletethey wee friends and I knew both of them well.
DeleteI'm very interested to know whether the false report of Jennifer's death will change the way you think of her now. Will you try to see her more? will you tell her how you felt?
ReplyDeleteAn experience like this could change things. Or you could just breathe a sigh of relief and move on
really sorry your friend told you wrong mistakenly dear Red!
ReplyDeletei can imagine the disturbing feeling one can have with such information and then revelation afterwards
i miss my school friend and chances to get in touch if i have lived close to them
I'm so glad you still have your friend, Jennifer. I've lost several good friends now and it's really, really hard to think of them gone. Art also lost one of his best friends last year. They used to go walking together once a week. As for those friends I lost in Illinois, I sometimes forget they're gone because I think they'll always be with me in my heart and my memories.
ReplyDelete