I have written about one of my neighbors on this blog before. I live about 7 houses away from him and always have a good visit when I went by his place. We have also walked together. We've attended community events. In other words , I know him very well.
Said neighbor was a college instructor in psychology and also spent time counselling. From my visiting with him, he was a good counsellor. He knew the statistics and a whole lot of other things from a very active life. He was a very active bee keeper and was well informed about raising bees.
Yesterday the roof fell in on his life. He was taken out of the home due to his dementia. For the past three years it was obvious that he was not well. He talked in very general vague terms. Physically he lost weight and became very frail. He always tried to present himself as the same old guy. He was always going to call me and we would go walking. He never called and I was not going to ask him to go walking. He was not going to admit that he had any problems so you can't talk to a guy about his dementia if he refuses to admit he has dementia. His wife isn't going to talk about his dementia as he would argue about it and there would be a very uncomfortable situation.
So life carried on under difficult circumstances for them. Family was supportive to this couple.
For the last 6 months his condition worsened rapidly.
Recently things became acute. He threatened his wife. He was going to kick her out of the house. He obviously thought she was someone else. She called the police over one incident. Nothing was done. A few days later she called emergency and he was taken out of the home and admitted to hospital. She felt guilty about turning him in but it's the only option she had. Her physician had told her that she had to make a decision.
The next day she visited and they found that his dementia medication was very incorrect so some of his anxious behaviour was due to incorrect medication. However, he will not be able to come home.
So I find it very sad that there's such a crash ending to a relationship that has been enjoyed for over 60 years.
For the first part of my life I was sure that the place I lived was the best place in the world. Everything we had was the best. We produced the best and most wheat in the world. We had the best education system in the country. And on it went.
Now all this came from a little boy who lived on an isolated farm. A weekly trip to the small village of 50, but sometimes the kids didn't go for weeks. A couple of times a year we went to a larger center (2000 people) for shopping and the odd dentist appointment. My world was on the little isolated farm. We went to one room school. Our playground was around the land we lived on.
Well, you can see the reason for thinking I lived in the center of the world. We didn't go anyplace and were not exposed to anything outside of our local area. The convenient explanation was that we were the best.
Now I did not stay on the little farm. I ventured away from the farm and village. I was completely unprepared to cope in a small urban area. I discovered that students had been to better schools. Other young people were much more socially prepared to cope in post secondary situations.
So after one year I left the urban area and went back to the comforts of the rural setting. I still had some things in my head that we were best in. Wasn't our provincial football team the best?
Now the final part of my delusion was destroyed when I first taught in a large school. We had 51 teachers. There were teachers from each province in Canada. We had many British teachers. There was the odd American. We also had a couple of Australians. This is one of the best experiences I ever had. Many great discussions were held with people who came from very different areas and backgrounds. I began to understand that the other guys had come from great systems. Once I got it through my head that I didn't come from the best place in the world, I could learn and understand how others thought and lived.
Now this was a good eye opener and there's nothing wrong with an eye opener. The little farm and village were taken out of me and put in their perspective.
How about you? Did you grow up thinking you were the center of the universe?
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| The old farmhouse |
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| Grade three |
